Insecurity
by Glass Castle
Summary: *Complete*. This is going to be my first fan fic so please be gentle!! it is about both Rinoa's and Squall's feelings for one another. Edited version now up
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it.   
  
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Rinoa is sitting on her bed. She is wearing her normal long blue cardigan over her black shorts, and top. She is deep in thought, thoughts about the one she loves.  
  
'Why is he always like this? He is so cold towards me that I don't know if he cares or not. He never shows me how he feels so how can I show him?'  
  
She gets up and walks over to the window. Outside it is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and the landscape looks beautiful. Rinoa has no idea where they are but that doesn't matter to her. It is a red landscape, full of dust, little plant life, she can't see any monsters, but that could be because of the presence of Garden. There is a cloud of dust rising because of the propellers of the Garden, making interesting patterns of light play across Rinoa.  
  
'I feel awkward when with him as he hardly ever talks to me, when he does he seems uncomfortable with the situation. As if talking to me is something that he can't stand.'  
  
'So why does everyone think it is normal? I don't think this is normal behaviour for someone. If you love someone and they love you back then normally you talk and spend time together, but with Squall this seems to be the worst thing that can be done. It's as if he doesn't want to know me, yet at times he can be so caring…'  
  
'He came to get me out of the sorceresses' memorial; so in some ways he must care, only… I wish he would show it more. I'm confused as to whether he did that out of duty to me as my knight or love. And how do I find out? The only way is to ask him, but he is so uncomfortable talking to ma about anything, let alone about this… I could talk to someone else bout it, get an outsiders point of view, maybe Selphie, I feel closest to her, but I'm not sure I could explain it so that it is understandable to others.'  
  
Loosing interest in looking out the window, Rinoa starts to pace round her room, restless, but reluctant to leave her dorm.  
  
'I feel so alone. The only thing I want to do is talk to the man I love, but he doesn't want to talk to me I'm sure. I'm scared; scared he doesn't want to be with me, scared of being alone. I've been alone for so long, I want someone to take that loneliness away; I want Squall to be there for me. Through good and bad times, I want him to be there. And I want to be there for him. I care more than I think he realises, and I wish I could tell him, but I'm scared of his reaction. Scared he may push me away. I couldn't stand being pushed away from the one I love.'  
  
She wraps her arms around herself, as if to either simulate someone hugging her, or simulate hugging someone. She quickly stops and looks round her dorm, as if she expects to see someone watching her. On seeing nothing out of the ordinary she returns to look out the window. The scene is just too beautiful. The sun is setting making the whole area look red, a deep, painful red as if it is reflecting Rinoa's pain.  
  
'I think I'll go talk to him, but when I get up to follow through on this advise I get scared and I sit down again, thinking about the possibility he may push me away. And I can't stand that thought, I'd probably leave Garden if that happened as I'm not sure I could stand seeing him nearly every day and know that he doesn't want me. Although I have no idea where I would go. I have no idea. The only place I can think of is home to my father but we haven't got on for many years so I wouldn't know where to go. I should really ask him about it, not in public, I should go to his quarters, ask him there, but I'm scared. I shouldn't be but I am.'  
  
She turns regretfully from the beautiful landscape, and returns to sit on her bed.  
  
'I think I'll put it of for another day, as I always do, I can't think what to say either when I decide to go. I want have it all planed out so that I know what to say, I don't want to just bluff my way through it, making mistakes and saying things wrong, possibly giving the wrong impression, and pushing him away myself.'  
  
'That would be unbearable. If I forced him away I would never forgive myself. I could never; it would be too hard for me to bear. It would break me. Spiritually. It would hurt too much.'  
  
'What do I do? I don't know, I want to talk to someone about it, but then again I don't as I don't want to burden them with my problems. I don't think it's fair on them, as it is unkind to burden them with your problems when the already have their own. I hate being a burden; I hate being thought of in that way. But I can't help assuming that people will see me that way.'  
  
'I need help, but whom do I ask? Quistis? Selphie? I think they may both be to close to both of us to be of any help. I want an outsider's point of view in some ways, and a friend's in another. I want a practical view that is true, not softened so that they think it won't hurt me. But I'm scared that an outsider would think I'm pathetic and tell me to get over my timid and scared attitude. I can't help them. These attitudes are a part of me.'  
  
She lies down on her bed, arms behind her head, staring at the ceiling. The only problem is that her eyelids are starting to get heavy.  
  
'I'm just so tired of worrying about this. I don't know what I should do. What I should say when I see him. I pretty much want to plan out the whole conversation so it goes well. I know I can't predict his comments or reactions but I can plan what I want to say to him. Plan how I want it to sound. So that I won't make a fool of myself… so that I won't sound stupid… so that I won't hurt him…'  
  
'Wow starting to really feel sleepy… can't think straight anymore…'


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it.   
  
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Squall is sitting at his overly full desk. He knows he should do something about the fact that everything is piling up on his desk, but right now he is thinking about other things. He is wearing his leather trousers and white tank top, his coat is resting on the back of his chair. He is resting his head on his clasped hands, his chocolate hair is all slowly falling forward, obscuring his face.  
  
'It scares me; it scares me so much. I'm not sure how to let her in. I'm scared that if I do she will hurt me. Not intentionally but accidentally and I couldn't take that. I'm scared of intimacy, I've found it hard all my life and it just seems so hard right now.'  
  
'I care so much for Rinoa. I care so much it scares me; I don't know how to act. I don't want to scare her off, but I also don't want to let her get to close and hurt me. I want to get to know her better before I let her in. but I'm scared I'll take to long and she'll leave.'  
  
He lifts his head, only his hair doesn't move from his face. He takes his hand and pulls his hair back, sweeping his hand over the top of his head. When he reaches the back of his head he leaves his hand there for a few minutes, holding his hair out the way.  
  
'I don't know what to do, and I don't know how or who to ask for help. Irvine is so confident with women, and Zell just doesn't seem to understand. I don't want to ask for help though; I've always sorted my problems on my own. But this one is harder to sort. I'm not sure how she feels. I've not really been paying attention to how she is acting towards me. I should pay more attention but I can't help it. There always seems to be something that requires my attention.'  
  
He lets go of his hair and slowly rises from his chair, and turns round to look out the big bay windows that are behind him. He sees the same red, setting sun that Rinoa was looking at, sees the beauty of the red landscape around Garden and takes a moment to admire the beauty of the area they are travelling over.  
  
'I need to sort out some time to talk to her; on my own. I don't want an audience, as that would just be embarrassing for me. I can't bear other people to hear my personal things.'  
  
'I want to go to her dorm, talk to her, but I don't want to disturb her. She may not want to speak to me. I keep shutting her out, but this is how I cope. I can't get close to her. I can't trust her; I can't trust myself not to hurt her.'  
  
'I don't know how to act. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to love her; don't know how to be the person she wants me to be. I don't know how to act in public round her so I shut her out of my mind. I act on auto pilot so that I don't get distracted and make mistakes. A commander can't afford to make mistakes.'  
  
'I have to look after the whole Garden. I can't just pay attention to Rinoa. If I do I may make mistakes and that can cost lives. I can't afford to let that happen. I wish Cid had never made me commander. I prefer being in the shadows, not thrust into the lime light. I have to make decisions on what we will do in times of crisis, yet really I have no idea. I am guessing my way through things. And I find thinking about Rinoa clouds my judgements, makes me make mistakes.'  
  
'I know I care for her. I must; as I went all the way to Esthar to rescue her from the Sorceresses Memorial. I couldn't bear the thought of her being stuck frozen in time until someone comes up with an idea to make it safe for her to walk the earth with us again. I can't bear the thought of her being possessed and not being able to control herself; but saying that I can't bear the idea of her being frozen in space. Like Adel was. And then being fought by SeeD. Possibly me.'  
  
'How could I live with myself if I killed her? If Lionheart were to pierce her heart, kill her, I couldn't live with myself. It would feel like my fault for not finding a cure for her. Not that she is ill or anything. I just can't put it into words.'  
  
'How can I tell her how I feel? I can't face how I feel so how can I tell her? I'm scared of how I feel. How deeply I feel it. I can't face it. It scares me too much. I can't tell her this as I'm her knight. Aren't knights meant to be strong? Well how can I be her knight if I'm not strong? If I can't protect her? I don't know what to do, what to say, how to say it. I'm scared of her reactions, scared about how I'll react to her reactions. Will she be mad or will she be calm? Will I get mad? How can Irvine be so confident with women? I can't understand it. Is it that he understands them and I don't? Or is it that he is just easier to approach?'  
  
'_Hyne!_ Why do people always know on my door when I'm deep in though. When I have far too much to think about to be worrying about others problems.'  
  
'Ok, ok, give me two minutes to sort myself out, just stop knocking.'  
  
'For pities sake' "Ok, come in already."  
  
He doesn't move from the window, just stays looking out it. He sees Irvine's reflection in the window so doesn't need to look round.

  
"What do you want Irvine?"   
  
'Oh why did it have to be you who want to talk to me? I know I need to talk but why you and why now?'  
  
Irvine looks mildly surprised about the fact that Squall knew it was him, until he realises that there is a reflection of him in the window.  
  
"You may not be able to admit it Squall but you are hurting Rinoa and yourself. You need to talk to one of us. I guess I took it onto myself for it to be me."  
  
"I'm fine really. We're both fine."   
  
'Is it really that obvious? To everyone else that I may need help. I can't admit it to myself so how am I meant to talk to you about it?'  
  
"Squall, for once in your life, admit you need some help. You can't do everything on your own no matter how hard you try."  
  
"I don't want to depend on anyone, as in the end you are on your own. You can't depend on anyone. No one sticks around for long."   
  
'I learnt that from Sis. One day she was there, the next she was gone. And I promised to her that I would manage on my own. I really can't break that promise.'  
  
"Squall, don't you realise that us coming together again means that no matter what happens we will always find one another again? Fate has a funny way of telling us that we can depend on each other. We will always be together, or never far apart. You can trust me. I only want to help you and Rinoa. I can't stand to see you hurt both yourself and her. It's obvious to everyone that you both care for each other greatly. And also obvious that you both can't admit it to each other or yourselves. You need to talk both of you. Either to each other or to us. Just please stop hurting yourselves with this pointless torture. Just talk to us won't you. Get things of your chest, tell us how you feel. How you want to sort things out. How you feel. Just talk plea--"  
  
Squall finally turns round to address Irvine.  
  
"_Alright already Irvine_. I get the message. You want me to talk well there is nothing to talk about. I'm fine, as far as I'm aware Rinoa's fine. You want to talk, go talk to Selphie. She is always willing to talk to you."  
  
"No Squall. I'm not moving until you talk to me and until all this is sorted out."  
  
Irvine sits on the corner of Squall's desk, picking up some paper and looking at it. He settles himself as comfortably as he can on the desk, and then he settles himself and starts to read.  
  
'Hyne can't you tell I'm not in the mood for this. I can't stand talking about my feelings. I try but I can't make people understand what I'm trying to say. I can't put into words what I feel. I can't explain. I can't talk about things. I prefer to think about it on my own, not explain things to others.'  
  
Fifteen minutes pass as Squall thinks and Irvine reads, slowly getting more and more bored.  
  
"Well I'm waiting Squall."  
  
'I can't think what to say. I can't think how to put this into words. Oh well this is my best shot I guess. He won't leave until I talk to him.'  
  
"……………"  
  
"Well Squall?"  
  
'I can't think how to put it into words. What am I meant to say, how am I meant to start?'  
  
"Fine. I'll try and explain. But I'm not good with words. I can't explain things very well."  
  
"It doesn't matter Squall. Just talk. I'll try understand. But I won't interrupt you. Just keep talking, get it off your chest and I'll try help."  
  
"If you're going to stay, you might as well sit down." Irvine moves some piles of stuff and perches on the edge of the desk. Squall sits on his chair again, and looks at the floor. "I don't know where to start. I like Rinoa. I know I do. I care deeply but I don't know how to tell her this. I'm scared that if I do say something that she will hate me. Will leave me; will leave the Garden. I don't want to walk the halls of Garden and not see her coming round the corner, grinning at us. I can't bear that thought. I want to see her. I want to be with her everyday. I want her to be the first thing I see in the morning, and the last thing I see at night. I want to be with her. But I'm scared of her hurting me, or me hurting her. I'm scared..."   
  
'Wow I said it. I can't believe I managed to admit, not only to myself, but to Irvine too. I'm scared. But now I'm no longer going to be seen as strong. I'll be seen as weak. I can't be her knight anymore. I can't be close to her. She needs someone that is strong, that won't let her down, and now that's not me. I'm not good enough for her. I've lost her now, lost her to someone else. My one true love and it's lost.'  
  
"Squall, Squall it's ok. It's good that you can admit that you are scared. It is something that everyone finds hard. Don't worry about it. It doesn't mean that you aren't good enough for Rinoa."  
  
'My God is this guy a mind reader?'  
  
"On the contrary. It means that you _are_ good enough for her. By being able to admit this it has made you stronger. You are more than worthy of the title Knight. Please Squall; keep going this is good that you are being so open with me."  
  
'What choice do I have, you won't leave me alone until I talked to you. And in some ways this is good for me I guess. It is helping me I guess. Though I do hate to admit it. I prefer to sort things out on my own normally, but this is good, I almost like it.'  
  
"Please Squall; continue."

  
Squall continues looking at the floor, afraid to meet Irvine's eyes.  
  
"Ok, so I've admitted I'm afraid. Do you remember at the orphanage, I was destroyed when Sis left? It hurt me so much. I have been scared to depend on anyone since then. And admitting my feelings to Rinoa would mean that I'm depending on her, like I depended on Sis. And in the end that hurt me, and I don't want that to happen again. I couldn't take it. It is too much to bear. I was scared at the time; I was a loner at the orphanage and am still a loner. Since then I prefer not to depend on someone who will in the end leave me. I don't think I could take it a second time."  
  
'So I've told you how I feel are you going to comment on this or are you going to leave. I want to be on my own, but now that I've told you I want your help. I want your opinion. I feel stupid sitting in this room with you and both of us not talking. You look so deep in thought. Please tell me what you think…'  
  
"Please Irvine, I'm doing something that is hard for me now, please tell me what you are thinking. Please, help me. I won't beg but I will ask for your help. You are the person I trust the most out of everyone, the one I remember the best from the orphanage, how you were always there for me. I appreciate that. But still I won't beg for your help."  
  
"Squall there is no need to beg. I would have given my help advice even if you hadn't asked as I'm your friend. I think both you and Rinoa need to talk; talk about how you both feel, as I'm sure she cares for you. Make sure you're alone at the time though, a crowd would just hinder things. Sometimes actions speak louder than words though. Take her out to a mean at the same time. That shows that you care, a meal alone, away from here. Talk then and try to sort things out. It may not be one of the most pleasant experiences but trust me in the end it will be for the best. You both need to talk. Think about things, but not for to long. You'll just talk yourself out of doing it. Just book the table and go and let things go on from there."  
  
'That's actually really good advise. Wow I'm amazed Irvine, and I thought you were just a show off, but you really know your stuff thanks.'  
  
Squall finally looks upwards and meets Irvine's eyes, obvious grateful from the look he gives Irvine.  
  
"Thanks Irvine. That's really helped more than I can say. I'm most grateful. Really."  
  
"That's ok; I'm always ready to help. I'll see myself out Squall, but act now get in and talk to her."  
  
Irvine heads for the door, but just as he is about to leave he turns to look at Squall one last time, and flashes him a smile before he leaves.  
  
'I think I will act on Irvine's advice. I'll ring the restaurant in Balamb once he's well and truly gone. I don't want everyone knowing where we are going. I know I should trust him, but I don't want everyone to be there 'by accident'; I want it to be just me and Rinoa… just me and Rinoa.'  
  
Squall turns round in his swivel chair and looks out the window again, he rings the restaurant after 20 minutes and books a table for himself and a guest for 8pm Monday.  
  
*~*~*~*~


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
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Someone knocks on Rinoa's door, making her jump out of her sleep  
  
'Huh? Why'd I suddenly wake, I can't see anything that would have startled me from my dream. Hang on… I was _asleep_??? I was meant to be thinking about Squall, and our problems. Oh Damn.'  
  
"Rinoa you in there?"  
  
'So that's what woke me, Selphie's come to see me, I wonder why…'  
  
"Come in Selphie. The door's unlocked"  
  
"There's no need to sound so panicked I was only asleep"  
  
"I'm sorry Rinoa; I didn't mean to wake you."  
  
"Its fine Selphie, I hadn't meant to fall asleep, I wanted to think about things, but I found I was so tired that when I lay down on my bed I just fell asleep."  
  
"What were you thinking about?"  
  
'Huh? I though she came to ask me something or tell me something, not just for conversation. Her muffled voice sounded as if it were something important.'  
  
"Nothing much really. Just something that has been worrying me."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"In a way yes, but didn't you come here to talk to me about something?"  
  
"I think it may be the same thing we want to talk about. You go first Rinoa."  
  
'Ok I know curiosity killed the cat, but, according to the proverb, satisfaction did bring it back. Oh what the hell. I may as well tell her seeing as she is here.'  
  
"Ok, sit down Selphie; this may take me a while." Selphie sits down while starting to talk.  
  
"That's fine Rinoa; I've got plenty of free time, buckets of the stuff. So much I don't know what to do with most of it. I just keep wandering round Garden looking for something to do but I norm-"  
  
"Erm Selphie?"  
  
"Yes Rinoa."  
  
"At the rate your going there won't be any free time!"  
  
"Oh Hyne, sorry Rinoa, you know how I get. A little over enthusiastic about everything!!!"  
  
"That's ok Selphie. Well the thing that's bothering me is the way Squall is around me. I like him a lot, actually no I love him."  
  
_"__This is what I wanted to talk to you about – Squall!!!"  
  
_"Ok Selphie, no need to deafen me in the process!"  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry Rinoa, I got excited again!"  
  
'Wow maybe this wasn't such a good idea; I don't really want to get deafened by Selphie if she gets excited again. Well can't back out now! I've already told her I wanted to talk to her. But how do I begin? I don't know where to start.'  
  
"Um Rinoa? You ok? You look really worried and are being really quite."  
  
"I'm fine I just don't know where to start, that's all. This is going to be really hard for me to explain."  
  
"Hey I'm not busy; I've got nothing to do until I have to go eat something!"  
  
"OK well, here goes nothing. I'm confused, confused about the way Squall feels for me. I don't know if he loves me or not, I don't even know if he cares for me. I guess he does as he came and got me out of the Sorceresses Memorial…"  
  
"Well of course he cares about you. He wasn't willing to go stop Lunatic Pandora or look for Ellone until he had got you back!"  
  
"And he seemed so happy when I got out, I felt so close to him at that moment, but after that he hasn't show any emotion towards me. It's as if he is shutting me out of his life. He doesn't want me in it for fear that we may become close, may become intimate. I mean is he scared of commitment? Or is there something about me that scares him. I haven't done anything to prompt this fear. Or at least I don't think I have. I care for him. I care so much that it scares me. It hurts that he doesn't seem to care about me in the same way that I care for him. Or if he does he sure is good at hiding it. It's as if when he is talking to me he doesn't actually connect. I can't really explain what I mean."  
  
"Well try your best Rinoa coz right now I ain't really understanding."  
  
"I mean, when I talk to him, it's like he's not really there, like he is thinking about something else, and is responding on autopilot. It's as if he doesn't actually want to talk to me, or like I'm talking to a brick wall. In fact I think I may get more response out of a brick wall."  
  
"Wow Rinoa, that's a rather harsh statement."  
  
"I'm hurting Selphie, hurting a lot. And right now I don't feel like being nice. But I also don't like hurting him."  
  
Rinoa's eyes become really glazed as she starts thinking about Squall.  
  
'I'm scared I'm hurting him now by being here. I don't know how to tell him I love him. I don't know what to do about how I feel. I'm scared that if I tell him he'll hate me as he won't feel the same. Won't care for me in the way I care for him. I couldn't bear seeing him in the halls knowing that he feels nothing for me…'  
  
"Erm Rinoa?? You still in the land of the living??"  
  
"Oh sorry Selphie, I was thinking about something."  
  
"I'll take a wild guess and say Squall?!?!"  
  
"So hard to tell isn't it. Mind you since we are talking about him, it's not really that hard."  
  
"True!"  
  
"It's just I love him so much, it physically hurts. I feel I can't take much more of this, but if I left I wouldn't know where to go. I can't go back to Deling City as I don't get on with my Dad any more and it would just be awkward there. And I can't stay here as it is too painful for me, but I have no where else to go."  
  
"Rinoa, please don't leave. You have to tell him how you feel."  
  
"But I can't Selphie; I'm too scared of how he'll react to this."  
  
"Well the only other thing I can think of is that you write him a letter."  
  
"That just seems so impersonal. I guess I'm going to have to conquer my fear and tell him."  
  
"That's the Spirit!"   
  
"I know! I'll invite him to come out for a meal with me. A _private _meal Selphie, so don't you go getting any ideas."  
  
"Aww come on. I want to see how this turns out."  
  
"No please Selphie, I need to do this on my own. With no one else around listening. Please Selphie. I need to tell him on my own."  
  
"Ok fine. I'll keep everyone away. But you have to promise me you'll tell me how it works out, please. I really want to see you both happy. You two were made for each other, though you don't seem to realise it."  
  
"Well thanks for coming to see me Selphie. I'm going to Ring the Restaurant. Don't even think of listening through the door!"  
  
"Ok, I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Bye Selphie"  
  
Rinoa gets up and crosses the room.  
  
Hmm… I think I'd better check that she really isn't listening out side the door. I just don't want everyone to know when it is we'll be going to the restaurant, and also which one.'  
  
She opens her door to reveal Selphie crouched by it trying to listen.  
  
"_Selphie_. What do you think you are doing?"  
  
"AHHH don't be mad, I just really want to know when you are going to go to the restaurant!"  
  
"Selphie, I said I don't want everyone to know because I don't. I just want it to be me and Squall. _Now go Selphie_."  
  
"…ok. You can go back into your dorm now, I'm going."  
  
"I want to make sure you leave."

  
'It's not that I don't trust her, it's just I really don't want everyone to 'accidentally' turn up. This is going to be just me and Squall.'  
  
"Hello? Is that Balamb Hotel?"  
  
"Yes it is madam. How can I help you?"  
  
"I would like to book a table for two for Friday night please."  
  
"Certainly madam, what time would you like to book your table for?"  
  
"About 8pm please."  
  
"Certainly madam. And will the two of you be arriving together."  
  
"No. Commander Leonhart will be arriving separately."  
  
"I'm so sorry madam, but he already has a table booked here for that time."   
  
'What?? He has already booked a table? But who is he going with?'  
  
"Hello? Madam?"  
  
"Sorry I got lost in thought there."  
  
"That's fine madam. Do you still want to book a table?"  
  
"No, cancel the booking. I'm so sorry to waste your time."  
  
"Not at all madam, good evening."  
  
"Thank you and Bye."  
  
'He is taking someone out to diner. And he leaves me to find out this way. That hurts, that really, really hurts Squall. I don't know what to do. I don't understand. I don't know what to do. Where do I go? I feel so numb. All I feel is pain. Pain that he could hurt me so much in this way. But I can't help the pain I feel. I feel betrayed. I thought he cared. But then again he never gave me any indication he did. I only assumed.'  
  
'Huh? Why is my hand so wet? Where's this water coming from? Is there a leak in my ceiling? No, I can't see any indication of one, so where is this water coming from? Hang on… this isn't water, it tastes salty? Am I crying? My cheeks are wet, yet I don't feel like I'm crying. See what you've done to me Squall. I don't feel anything at all other than this pain. Pain you've caused me. You've really hurt me this time Squall. Squall, I still feel I need you, Squall… Squall… Squall…'  
  
"_Squall_… I need you."  
  
'Squall you're supposed to be my knight. How can you be in you are willing to hurt me in this way. A knight is supposed to protect his Sorceress, not hurt her.'  
  
'I can't stay. I can't bear the pain. I can't stay. I've got to leave. But where will I go? I have no where I can go. I don't even have an idea of where I'd head for. No strength. I can't even stand up anymore. Squall how could you do this to me?'  
  
'Wow, I've never realised how uncomfortable the floor is to sit on. _No!_ I must get up. I've got to be strong. I've got to pack. Got to get out of this place. I can't bear the thought of seeing him in the halls with someone. Someone who isn't me. Seeing them so happy.'  
  
_'__That's it! _Zone, Watts, I'll find them. I'll look for the White SeeD ship. They'll look after me again. But where do I start to look for the ship? I hope they haven't left Centra. I'll take as much as I can carry with me. Where's my suitcase? _Oh Hyne_. It's locked in storage. I can't get hold of it with out someone with the key to the room. Ok where's my holdall. Where did I put that? Please don't tell me I put that into storage to. No I can't of, I need it. Need it now. Who has the key to the storage room? Squall, Cid, Xu and Quistis. Cid and Quistis would tell Squall that I've got my suitcase. Xu would probably tell either Quistis or Cid who in turn would tell Squall. I don't want any of them to know I've left. I can't ask any of them without Squall finding out. _Where in Hynes name is my holdall?_ Why do I care if he finds out so much?'  
  
'Ah ha! Here it is. I think I can get most of my stuff in here. Or at least the essentials. I can buy what ever I need when I'm far away from here. I just have to leave.'  
  
'I hope no one is out side my dorm. I don't want to see people. I just want to leave without a fuss. Squall won't be about – too busy with commanding the Garden. Zell should be in the cafeteria trying to get hotdogs; Quistis should hopefully be helping with teaching. Selphie has just been with me so should be down the Quad again. She loves it there, what with the production coming up and all. Ahh I haven't a clue where Irvine will be. I hope no where near here. I have to get out without anyone seeing me.'  
  
'Hmmm why is Garden so quite? Not that I'm complaining, makes it easier for me to leave. I haven't seen anyone since I left my dorm. This is strange. Oh well there is the gateway. Not far to go now. If I had met someone awkward questions would have been asked about where I was going. Questions I don't want to answer.'  
  
"Hey miss, where are you going?"  
  
'Hyne don't scare me like that. It made me jump so much.'  
  
"Huh oh sorry. I'm going to visit friends."  
  
'Oh it's only the gate keeper.'  
  
"Wouldn't you rather wait until we are in a city and leave then?"  
  
"No that's ok. They live round here, but move around a lot. It's easiest to locate them by starting off where they were last seen. And so it's easiest if I am dropped of here."  
  
"Ok if you're sure."  
  
"I am thanks for the concern."  
  
"Bye then."  
  
"Bye"  
  
'That was close. Well there goes Garden into the distance. I guess I won't ever see it again. And in some ways I am glad I won't. Too much pain is associated with that place. But there were also some good memories. Now I'm only going to look to the future now not the past.'  
  
With that Rinoa Heartily left Balamb Garden, walking into the sunset. Headed for the last know position of the White SeeD ship. Unknown to everyone that she had left Garden, everyone except the Gate Keeper……


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
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'I wonder where everyone is. I can't find anyone. Zell ain't in the Cafeteria, Selphie ain't in the Quad, and Quistis isn't in a classroom or in the Training Centre. I know where Squall is but then again that could be because I've just been talking to him. I wonder if Zell is in the Library, ogling at that girl he thinks is so fine.'  
  
Irvine has been wandering round Garden looking for everyone. He is now headed for the Library to look for Zell.  
  
'I should really suggest to Squall that we try to cheer Garden up a bit; lately it's been looking a little drab. It might lift everyone's spirits. Ah the good old Library. Huh? Zell isn't here either. Hyne where is everyone. Has there been a public announcement that I've missed. I guess they could be in the Infirmary.'  
  
Two girls walk past Irvine, wearing, what could be described as, minimalistic clothing. One is small, about 5'2", has long blonde hair, pulled back into a high pony tail, and is wearing a very skimpish top with a very small skirt that only just covers the top of her legs. The other is taller, 5'11", with mid-length red hair, left loose, and is wearing a black and white velvet corset, and a pair of very low slung black trousers, and a pair of very high heeled, black boots, enhancing her legs.  
  
'Why hello. Looking mighty fine there aren't we girls. Hyne Irvine that's not what we're here for. We're looking for people remember. And not just anyone. Right back to task in hand. Plus I'm with Selphie anyway. She's a great girl. So lively and bouncy.'  
  
_'__Oh Hyne. What if something has happened to her in the Training Centre and she is lying grievously injured in the Infirmary_. Have to get there quickly. I guess running can be excused in this case. I just hope I don't meet anyone while I'm running round Garden.' He breaks into a run. 'That would _not_ look good and even I can be disciplined.'  
  
'Phew. She's not here, she must be fine. Wow but I'm not, all this running around in a panic isn't good for me. I'll just take a moment to try to catch my breath.'  
  
Irvine leans against the wall of the Infirmary, looking at the floor, trying to get his breath back. He doesn't see Dr. Kadowaki approach him.  
  
"Can I help you Irvine?"  
  
"YAH! Dr. Kadowaki. No I'm fine"  
  
"You look rather flushed Irvine, and you sound out of breath. You sure you're ok?"  
  
"Yeah I'm fine; I was just running here as I had a sudden panicky thought."  
  
"Hmmm I think I should examine you just in case."  
  
"No, no really I'm fine. I'll just be going now!"  
  
Irvine promptly leaves the Infirmary to get away from Dr. Kadowaki.  
  
'Wow that was close. I hate being stuck in that place. And Dr. Kadowaki is scary. She is a good doctor but I hate being in the Infirmary. It makes me feel ill! Well back to hunting for people. Where on earth could they be? I haven't even seen Rinoa recently. I wonder if Squall has decided to talk to her. That would be both for them both.'  
  
_'__Hyne where is everyone??'  
  
_Irvine starts wandering pointlessly round the Garden, unsure of where to go to find his friends. He can't decide where to go so leans on the wall next to the fountains round the centre of the Garden.  
  
'I've tried the Quad, the Infirmary, the Library, the Cafeteria, the Training Ground, and the classrooms. Where haven't I been? Oh for pities sake, it's staring me plainly in the face. I haven't been to the Dorms. How thick can you get Irvine Kinneas? Not thinking of the most obvious place! Hmm I guess that means I have to set off again. Just as I was getting my breath back to. Well here we go. I really need to work out more. I've become lazy and unfit. And that is not becoming of a Sniper.'  
  
Irvine starts to head for the dorms when a though suddenly strikes him.  
  
'Hang on I can't actually check Rinoa's, Quistis's and Selphie's dorms can I? I ain't allowed on the girls' side. Damn. How am I going to check them? This really is turning out to be problematic. Well I might as well check Zell's Dorm. What number was it again?? Erm 213, no that's not right, erm 321 no still not right. I'm, sure it's those numbers how about 132 yeah that's it. Ok now where is that dorm located? There are far too many dorms in this place. Ah Zell's dorm. It must be look, at the amount of posters on the door alone! I can't hear anything from his dorm. Well might as well knock' Irvine knocks on the door '… Hmm better knock harder.'  
  
Irvine knocks harder and also shouts. _"Hey Zell you in there?"  
  
_'I guess that's a no then. Where _is_ everyone? I need to find a girl to go look for Quistis, Rinoa and Selphie. Damn, where is one when you need one?'  
  
He looks round for a girl headed into the dorms to look for Quistis, Rinoa, and Selphie. Just as he is about to give up hope a girl appears. She is 5'7" with black shoulder length hair, and very pale skin. She is wearing her SeeD uniform and carrying a whole load of books and folders, she is walking quickly towards the dorms, looking intently at something on top of her books and folders. Irvine notices that there are pictures of decorative guns on top of one of her folders, and guesses she is a gun woman.  
  
'Ah she'll do.'  
  
"Hey you. Gun girl."  
  
"Are you talking to me Irvine?"  
  
"Yeah, you know my name?"  
  
"Of course everyone knows the resident expert in their field of weaponry."  
  
"Oh right, well can you go see if Rinoa, Quistis or Selphie are in their dorms?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Thanks kid. Sorry I don't know your name."  
  
"My name is Katrina"  
  
"Thanks Katrina." 'Like I'll ever remember your name.'  
  
Irvine paces round a bit at the entrance to the girls side of the dormitories. He is facing into them when he stops for a moment.  
  
'Why do girls always take so long? Unless none of them are in their dorms. But then why hasn't Katrina come back to tell me that? Hmm where is everyone? This place isn't that big, how can they all be hiding so well?'  
  
"Hey Irvine"  
  
Irvine jumps out of his skin as he hears his name being spoken right behind him. 'Wow Hyne that scared me.'  
  
"Hehe that was funny Irvine, you wanna jump like that again?" she giggles.  
  
Irvine whips round to see Selphie standing right behind him. she is wearing a pair of black jeans and a yellow tee-shirt. They don't quite meet in the middle, leaving a small amount of her white skin showing round her waist. She is giggling at the way she made him jump out of his skin. His frown softens into a smile as he sees it is her.  
  
"Hyne Selphie you made me jump out of my skin. Don't do that to me again ok?"  
  
"Aww but it was so funny."  
  
"Not for me it wasn't."  
  
"So you gonna give me a kiss then Irvine? Please?"  
  
"Hey don't change the subject, but actually yes."  
  
'Hehe this kiss was easy to get out of her, for once. Normally it is really hard to get a kiss out of Selphie. Well let's enjoy it for now. I normally get hugs. Not that I'm complaining about that. I do like hugs but a kiss is just more intimate. Mmmm, her lips are so soft, so responsive…'  
  
Irvine's hands slowly start to roam round Selphie's back, while hers move up towards his hair. She gets hold of the band holding it back and slowly starts to pull it out of his hair gently. His hands find the bottom of her tee-shirt and slowly he starts to move his hands under her top, lovingly rubbing her skin with his hands.  
  
"Umm excuse me Irvine?"  
  
'Damn.'  
  
"Yes, who is it. Oh it's you Katrina. What do you want?"  
  
"I couldn't find Quistis, Selphie, or Rinoa but as I can see you found Selphie for yourself."  
  
"Oh right thanks for looking."  
  
"Actually Katrina I found Irvine. He was lost in thoughts. You should have seen him jump when I called out his name. It was _soo _funny."  
  
"Thanks Selphie, just destroy my manly image."  
  
"No probs Irvine!"  
  
"Well see ya Katrina."  
  
'So where are both Quistis and Rinoa? Together possibly. That would make life complicated.'  
  
"So why were you looking for me Irvine Kinneas? I hope it wasn't just so we could make out. It had better be important, or I'll be annoyed."  
  
"Well actually…"  
  
"I knew it, that's all you ever want isn't it?"  
  
"_Hey! _Give a guy a break. I wanted to talk to you, Zell, and Quistis. About something that concerns us all I think."  
  
"Oh sorry Irvy. I didn't mean to snap. You forgive me?"  
  
"Sure Selphie. But I'm having problems locating Quistis and Zell. You seen them babes?"  
  
"Don't call me that" Selphie says as she hits Irvine.  
  
"Ouch Selphie that really hurts. No need to hit me so hard. That really hurt."  
  
"It was meant to."  
  
"Hmm… so have you seen them?"  
  
"I saw Quistis a few minutes ago, heading for the bridge. But I haven't seen Zell."  
  
"Well I've only got one place left down here to check for Zell, before I declare him officially missing! Then shall we go get Quistis?"  
  
"Sure thing Irvy. Where's left to check?"  
  
"The car park."  
  
"Why would he be there?"  
  
"How would I know? I don't understand Zell's mind. Do you?"  
  
"No I don't either!" she giggles.  
  
"Well let's go then".  
  
They head for the Car Park, Irvine deep in thought, with Selphie linked through his arm. 'I wonder where Rinoa is then. I haven't seen her in ages and she doesn't appear to be anywhere. That is strange. I wonder if she went to see Squall. I hope not as I don't think he's ready for that.'  
  
"Whatcha thinking Irvy?"  
  
"I was wondering where Rinoa was Selph."  
  
"Oh I just left her in her dorm about 30 minutes ago."  
  
"Wonder where she is now as that girl couldn't find her."  
  
'Knew I wouldn't remember her name.'  
  
"You mean Katrina?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever, I still want to know where Rinoa is."  
  
"Hmmm it _is_ strange. Oh well, it's not as if she needs permission to walk round Garden."  
  
"True. I just wish I knew where she was."  
  
Irvine, still not quite paying attention, nearly walks straight past the corridor to the Car Park. "Hey Irvy where you going? This is the corridor for the Car Park."  
  
"Wow I hadn't realised we were here!"  
  
"And look there is Zell!"  
  
'I wonder why he is here. And shadow boxing here???'  
  
"Hey Zell. Whatcha doing shadow boxing here?" said Irvine.  
  
"Hey Irvine, Selphie. I was trying to get away from people pestering me. I was in the Training Centre, but I kept getting bugged by people, so I decided to come here to practise."  
  
"But isn't it a little dangerous to be here Zell? I mean cars coming and going and all?" said Selphie.  
  
"Not really Selphie. No cars can really come in and out now we are mobile remember?"  
  
"Good point Zell!"  
  
"Hey you two, if I might but it. Have you seen Rinoa recently Zell? Or Quistis?" said Irvine.  
  
"No I haven't, not since lunch anyway."  
  
"_Irvy. Don't you listen to a thing I say???_ I _said _I saw Quistis heading up to the bridge." Said Selphie.  
  
"Sorry Selph. I forgot! Can I speak to you and Zell with Quistis? There is something I think we all need to discuss."  
  
"Sure, I was getting a little bored of shadow boxing anyway."  
  
'Right now just to find Quistis. I hope she is easier to find than Zell and Selphie.'  
  
They all head towards the Bridge, Irvine ahead with Selphie and Zell walking behind him, talking loudly.  
  
'Gosh I hadn't realised how hard it is to think with Zell and Selphie talking right behind you. And loudly. I can't concentrate properly on what I'm trying to think about. How am I going to address everyone about this? The problem between Rinoa and Squall. They must have noticed something. Or if they haven't then they really must be blind.'  
  
"Hey there's Quistis. _Hey Quistis_!" said Zell.  
  
"Yes Zell?"  
  
"Irvine wants to talk to us all."  
  
"Is it important Irvine, because I'm a little busy right now?"  
  
"Well actually it is rather important." Said Irvine  
  
"Oh right. Just let me deliver this report to Squall then I'll be with you."  
  
"We'll wait for you here."  
  
"Ok I won't be long."  
  
Irvine, Zell, and Selphie all stand waiting in the corridor to the Bridge for Quistis to return. An argument quickly breaks out between Selphie and Zell, though it isn't malicious.  
  
'Please don't be I think this issue really does need to be address. And soon. I think that our friends may be in need of help. I've tried but I still need help. Oh Selphie, Zell can't you be left alone for two minutes without an argument breaking out?'  
  
"Hey you two. Can't I leave you alone and think without you two starting to argue?"  
  
"Sorry Irvine." Said Selphie and Zell in unison.  
  
"He started it."  
  
"No I didn't."  
  
"Yes you did."  
  
"No I didn't."  
  
"Enough the both of you. Here come Quistis anyway. Come on Quistis lets get these two out of here before any more arguments break out!"  
  
"Ok then Irvine. This had better not take too long."  
  
"Shall we go talk in the Cafeteria? It seems like the best place to talk seeing as we can't populate someone's dorm."  
  
"Seems like a good idea to me." Said Zell.  
  
"Ok then." Said Quistis.  
  
"Lead the way cowboy!" said Selphie.  
  
They all head for the Cafeteria thinking their own thoughts.  
  
'How am I going to start this conversation? Do I admit to them that I've talked to Squall at the beginning of the conversation? Or should I wait til later? I don't want to give the wrong impression. But I don't want to keep secrets from them. They are my friends after all.'  
  
'I wonder what they are all thinking about. Probably wondering why I called them here. But I think we need to address this problem before it gets out of hand with Rinoa and Squall. They need to talk and sort things out. I care too deeply for them both to let them ruin what they have going. They need each other. Rinoa needs her knight. And Squall needs his Sorceress to protect. They both need each other whether they realise it or not.'  
  
Upon arriving at the cafeteria they head for a vacant table, and all sit down.  
  
"So Irvine. Tell us what's this all about." Said Quistis.  
  
"Can't you guess?" Said Irvine.  
  
"We have no idea." Said Zell.  
  
"It's about Squall and Rinoa." Said Irvine.  
  
"What about them. They seem fine to me." Said Quistis.  
  
"Quistis, have you not seen them recently? They are acting as if they can manage without each other. As if they have no feelings for each other." Said Selphie.  
  
"Well how they act is their concern, not ours. Please don't tell me you brought me away from very important work to talk about Squall and Rinoa and their relationship, or lack there of." Said Quistis.  
  
"Quistis we are all concerned about them. If they can't rely on us who can they. We have known Squall since the orphanage and Rinoa seems perfect for him. He needs her, more than he can admit. He cares for her." Said Irvine.  
  
"Hey Irvine; how come you seem to know how Squall is feeling?" Said Zell.  
  
"I went to talk to him about how he is towards Rinoa. I could see that it was hurting her so I thought I'd talk to him for her." Said Irvine.  
  
"You talked to Squall. And he talked back." Said Selphie.  
  
"Once I managed to persuade him to talk to me, yeah. He's not as stand offish as he seems. He is a hurt, confused guy, and I like to think he would do the same for me if I were in trouble." Said Irvine.  
  
"Oh…"  
  
"What's wrong Selphie?" Said Zell.  
  
"I went and talked Rinoa earlier."  
  
"What about?" Said Quistis.  
  
"About her and Squall and how she feels."  
  
"And how was she?" Said Zell.  
  
"Well to begin with upset and hurt, but by the end of the conversation happier and resolved."  
  
"What did you tell her?" Said Irvine.  
  
"I told her she needed to talk to Squall, on her own. Why was that wrong?"  
  
"I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Can you go and check on her Selphie? I think I'll go check on Squall also. I just hope we haven't caused any damage by our separate actions." Said Irvine.  
  
"Yeah sure, I can go see her."  
  
"Do you need me any longer or can I get back to work. Don't get me wrong I do care, but I do also have a lot of work to get through." Said Quistis.  
  
"Yeah you can go Quisty." Said Irvine.  
  
"Thanks." Said Quistis.  
  
She leaves in a hurry, listing things on her fingers.  
  
'You could seem a little more concerned though. These people are meant to be our best friends. If we can't help them then who can?'  
  
"I'll go check on Rinoa then." Said Rinoa.  
  
"Hey Irvine, you mind if I come too. I also care for Squall. And don't want to see him hurt himself and Rinoa." Said Zell.'  
  
"Ok Zell. Let's get going. See you later Selphie."  
  
'I really hope we haven't done any harm. I would never forgive myself if Selphie and I have caused something to happen between Squall and Rinoa.'  
  
Selphie leaves, heading towards the dorms, and Irvine and Zell leave heading towards the Bridge, looking for Squall.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
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'Wow. The sky is breath taking tonight. The colors in it are amazing. I never knew half these colors could exist. It's true what people say. One of the most amazing things about the world is watching the sun set. It is never the same twice. It is amazing. Breathtaking even. I wish it would never end. Because with the setting of the sun comes another day. And every day that comes brings me closer to Friday. Friday. The day I'm meant to be taking Rinoa out to dinner. It's Tuesday now, only two more days then it's the day I have to take her out. I need to find something smart to wear. Should I wear my SeeD uniform or just a tux? Wow I can't believe I'm taking her out to dinner.'  
  
'The thought of dinner. That thought brings fear to my mind. And my heart. What if she doesn't feel the same? What if she rejects me? How could I live with myself? Could I go on living if I saw her everyday wrapped round someone else? I don't think I could. I love her too much. She is my world. I'm her knight. She is my Sorceress. We belong together. I hope she feels the same to.'  
  
'Oh for Hynes sake, now what do people want?'  
  
"Come in."  
  
"Hey Squall."  
  
"Hey Irvine. What do you want now?"  
  
"Whatcha doing over by your window?"  
  
"Zell? You're here too?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"What do you both want?"  
  
"I came to talk to you about what we were talking about earlier." Said Irvine.  
  
"You mean he know what we were talking about."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You couldn't respect that I don't want my personal life spread round Garden?"  
  
"Don't be so harsh Squall. He was only trying to help." Said Zell.  
  
"What? By telling everyone that I'm weak? That I can't help myself? Great help."  
  
"It's not like that." said Irvine.  
  
"So what is it like?"  
  
"Squall; like it or not, we are all concerned for you and Rinoa. We don't want to see either of you get hurt." Said Irvine.  
  
"I just don't like everyone knowing my business. I hate being the centre of gossip."  
  
"You're not Squall. Just because you fear if doesn't mean that it is actually happening. Try to be a little more trusting." Said Zell.  
  
"I can't help it. So why are you here?"  
  
"Has Rinoa been to see you?" Said Irvine.  
  
"No, why would she?"  
  
"Now I really have a bad feeling about this." Said Irvine.  
  
"Irvine, tell me. Has something happened to Rinoa? Is she ok? What's happened to her? Tell me please. I need to know."  
  
"As far as we are aware nothing has happened to her." Said Irvine.   
  
"So why the bad feeling?"  
  
"Selphie has been to talk to Rinoa. And we fear that she may have said something that caused Rinoa to do something that would not be wise." Said Zell.  
  
_"You mean she may have killed herself????"  
  
_"No that's not what we think. But we think that she could be hurting." Said Irvine.  
  
"I have to go find her. Make sure she is ok."  
  
"Squall, no wait…" Said Zell.  
  
"Zell. It's no use. You can't stop him now. He's already half way down the corridor. He wouldn't listen anyway. He cares too much for Rinoa."  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'I hope he finds her soon, or someone else does. If Selphie and I have cause undue anguish by lack of communication, I'll never forgive myself. Squall deserved happiness. He has had so much pain in his life he need happiness so that he realises life is worth living again. If he looses Rinoa I think we may also loose him. And this world needs Squall Leonhart. He is a brilliant leader, a great friend, but more importantly he is a loyal lover.'  
  
'Rinoa please don't have left Garden. He needs you and I believe you need him. He is your knight. Not something easily replaced. He was there for you when you went to the Sorceress's Memorial. He rescued you. Going against everything he was trained for. To defeat the Sorceress. Instead he save her. He really does care for you. Please still be here.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Rinoa. Where are you? I can't find you. You were here only an hour ago. Where have you gone? Why is so much of your stuff missing from your dorm? Please don't have left. Where could she have gone if she has left? We haven't stopped at a town or city recently. So where could she be?'  
  
'Irvine. I've go to go tell him before he gets to Squall. We need to sort this out before he finds out and is hurt. I can't think what could have happened to make her leave. I don't understand. When I left her in her dorm she was fine. Happy even. What could have happened in that time that would make her leave?'  
  
Selphie is running round Garden in tears, running blindly, hoping to find Irvine.  
  
'Oh Irvine where are you? I need you. I need your support. I need you to tell me it's all going to be ok. I don't know what to do. No one has seen her. What do I do? Please someone help me. I think I've done something dreadful. I think I've caused two of my friends a lot of pain. I just don't know what to do. Help me please, someone help.'  
  
_"__Irvine__."_ *Selphie runs straight into Irvine, throwing her arms round him and holding him tight, crying hard. Irvine holds her back, worried about her.  
  
"Selphie what's wrong?"  
  
"I think I've done something dreadful."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I think I've made Rinoa leave."  
  
"_Oh Hyne no_."  
  
"Yes I can't find her anywhere. And no one has seen her in ages. Oh Irvine what do I do?"  
  
"It's ok Selphie; it's not your fault."  
  
"But Irvine, don't you see it is? If I hadn't gone to talk to her then she wouldn't have left."  
  
"Hang on, how do you know she has left?"  
  
"Because some of her stuff is missing."  
  
"Oh Selphie. Selphie please don't cry. It's not your fault. You couldn't have know that I was going to talk to Squall. I think it may be both our faults."  
  
"But…but… I shouldn't have talked to her…I s-should ha-have talked t-to you f-first. P-please Irvy. Hold me." *Irvine tightens his grip on Selphie, to let her know he is there for her.  
  
"Come here Selph. Try not to worry about it. We'll find her. I'm sure."  
  
 *~*~*~*~  
  
'Wow she really is upset. She is shaking so badly. Please don't cry Selphie, how were you to know. We both should have talked to each other before talking to Rinoa and Squall. We both messed up. But we can sort it. I really hope we can. For Rinoa and Squall's sake. We really have messed up this time. Maybe we should go somewhere more private. Sefie can't be that heavy can she?'  
  
Irvine puts Selphie's arms round his neck then picks her up so that she is in his arms. He starts walking for the dorms.  
  
"Irvy, w-whatcha d-doing?"  
  
"Shhhh Sefie. It's ok. I'm sure rules can be over looked this once."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Don't tell on me will ya?"  
  
'She's lighter than I expected. I can carry her easily. I just hope no one sees us go to my dorm. I can't leave her this upset. She needs me. Needs me to hold her. To be there for her. To look after her.'  
  
'We won't do anything, I'll just hug her. Hold her til she falls asleep. Be there for her when she wakes. I don't ever want to loose her. I care for her too much. She is so important to me. I couldn't bear it if I lost her like Squall may lose Rinoa if he isn't careful. I hope he finds her.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall has been searching frantically throughout Garden. He has the authority to override any ones lock on their dorm door and can go on both sides of the dorms-girls and boys. He has been through Rinoa's dorm, and has discovered that there are several things missing, basic things such as hair brush, underwear, things like that. He is now searching through the rest of Garden, looking for her everywhere.  
  
'Rinoa, Rinoa where are you. Your stuff is missing. Please, please don't be out of Garden. I know Garden slowed down earlier. Please don't tell me you left then. We were in the middle of Centra then. It's dangerous out there on your own. Since the Lunar Cry there are allsorts of dangerous enemies out there. I'm not even sure I could handle them on my own, and I'm stronger that you. I should be there with you. I'm your knight I should be protecting you from these beasts. I need to see you. To hold you close. To make sure you're ok.'  
  
'Am I that untrusting that I've sent you away...? Maybe I'm this way because I'm scared. I thought nothing lasts in this world. It feels great to have friends who believe in you, and adults you can rely on. That's why it's so dangerous, especially if you become used to it. Someday you're bound to lose everything. Everybody around you will be gone. Then what are you left with? Nothing. Nobody...It's so miserable. And it's inevitable. It's so hard to recover from something like that. I never ever want to deal with that again. I can't. Even if it means being alone... But I realise I love you. That I need you. I can't live without you. I care too much to let you go.'  
  
He suddenly finds himself at the entrance to Balamb Garden, and a flash of inspiration sparks thought his mind.  
  
"Hey gatekeeper."  
  
"Yes commander."  
  
"Did a young girl with black hair, and pale skin leave here a while ago?"  
  
"How long you thinking of?"  
  
"Within the last hour."  
  
"Yes a girl did leave. I thought it a little odd that she left in the middle of the Centra but she insisted."  
  
"Did she say anything before she left?"  
  
"She said she was going to stay with friends. And that they move around a lot."  
  
"Thanks. Do you know what time it was when she left?"  
  
"I'd say about 5.40ish"  
  
_'Hyne Rinoa_. Don't tell me that you're out there on you own.'  
  
"Oh one more thing. I don't suppose you noticed if she was carrying a pin wheel weapon on her arm?"  
  
"Now that you mention it I think she was. But I couldn't swear by it."  
  
'Great so not only are you out there on your own. But you may not have your weapon. I have to get to the bridge and fast. I have to find Rinoa. She may need my help. It's getting dark. It isn't going to be easy. But I have to find her. She means to much to me for me to let her get hurt.'  
  
Squall runs through Garden, heading for the Bridge. He runs into the elevator and punches the top floor button, willing the elevator to go faster.  
  
'Why can't this stupid elevator go any faster? I need to get to the bridge.'  
  
"_Nida._"  
  
"Yes Squall"  
  
"Stop immediately."  
  
"Commander?"  
  
"Just do it."  
  
"Now turn Balamb round exactly 180o and put on the search lights."  
  
"Yes sir. May I ask what we are looking for?"  
  
"Look for Rinoa. Where are the Binoculars?"  
  
"Over by the control panel."  
  
"I'll use these to scan the darkness. You just concentrate on looking in the search light path."  
  
"_Squall_."  
  
"Yes Irvine?"  
  
"Rinoa's gone."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Please don't blame Selphie and me. We were only trying to help."  
  
"That's ok. You go look after Selphie. Oh and if you see Zell can you send him up here? Don't worry, we'll find her."  
  
"Thanks Squall." Irvine throws his arms round Squall and hugs him.

  
"Ugh Irvine. There is no need to hug me."  
  
"Yes there is. You're a good friend."  
  
"Thanks now get back to Selphie."  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Must get back to Selphie. She doesn't realise I've left her alone in my dorm. Also Squall said he didn't need me so I'm fine to go back.'  
  
_'__Hang on_…… Squall said "Get back to Selphie." Did he realise she is in my room right now? And he didn't say anything? But he knows that it is against the rules. Wow he really must value my friendship not to tell anyone. Thanks so much Squall.'  
  
"_Hey __Irvine_."  
  
_'__Hyne_, that scared me.  
  
Irvine looks round to see Zell running towards him.  
  
"Hey Zell."  
  
"Have you got any idea what's going on?"  
  
"Yeah, Rinoa's left Garden."  
  
"_What?? When??_"  
  
"About an hour ago we estimate."  
  
"But we've not stopped at a city or a town or even a village in that time."  
  
"That's the problem Zell."  
  
"You mean she is out there on her own and with so many monsters about now due to the Lunar Cry?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"_Hyne we have to find her_."  
  
"Zell, calm down. That's why Garden turned around a few minutes ago."  
  
"But she may not have walked in a straight line. She could be anywhere."  
  
"Squall and Nida are scanning the area around Garden with binoculars but neither of them are strong magic users so it's hard work."  
  
"_I'm a strong magic user. I could help them_."  
  
"Squall did ask if you could go up to the bridge. But with the intercom out of action he could not just call you up."  
  
"I'm gone. I've got to help find her."  
  
Irvine watches as Zell runs towards the Bridge, then heads back to his own dorm.  
  
'I hope you can Zell, I hope you can.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Help. I'm running low on magic. Help. I can't hold of many more enemies. The first few Jelleyes were easy. I only used a little magic on them. But that stupid Elnoyle knock out Leviathan and used a lot of my magic supplies. And the Behemoth pretty much used up all but the last 3 of my spells. I can no longer see enemies coming at me. It's become to dark. I need to avoid all these monsters. I can't defend myself very well right now. My pin wheel is broken, Leviathan is KO'd and I have about 3 spells left, two of which are curagas. So I have one offensive spell left. And I'm no closer to getting to the last place I know the White SeeD Ship was.'  
  
Rinoa has been running and walking over the Centra trying to find the White SeeD Ship but hasn't had much luck. She has run into more enemies than she expected and is in serious trouble.  
  
'I feel so alone. I'm scared. I don't want to die. I'm afraid of dying. I should have stayed in Garden where I was at least safe. If not happy. I can't cope out here on my own. Squall; even though you've hurt me, I still want you. Please come help me.'  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"  
  
'Something small and hard has just hit her in the back.'  
  
'What in Hyne's name just hit me? Oh, it's only an imp. Mind you I had better be careful, these little guys have powerful magic, and normally they aren't alone. They either travel in packs or with something larger.'  
  
She suddenly hears a very large growl, just behind her.  
  
'W-what was t-that v-very loud g-growl? D-do I run o-or do I s-stand s-still and hope it hasn't s-seen or h-heard me? I'm s-shaking so badly. I t-think I'll r-run. I d-don't like t-the sound of t-that g-growl. It's too close.'  
  
She sets off at a run, away from the growl, not daring to look back at what is chasing her. She soon lets go of the holdall she is carrying so she can run better.  
  
'Squall where are you? I can't run for long without either falling or collapsing. Help me please?'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Rinoa where are you? Why did you have to leave Garden? There are so many strong monsters about since the Lunar Cry. You must have known it isn't safe to wander round the open on your own. I hope you're ok. I could never forgive myself if something terrible happened to you.'  
  
"Zell. Are you picking up on anything?"  
  
"Sorry Squall. Not a thing. When she left she must have walked away from Garden."  
  
"We've been hunting for an hour. Where could she be?"  
  
"I don't know Squall. I'm sorry."  
  
"I hope nothing has happened to her."  
  
"So do I. The only things I can locate are monsters. Lots of them."  
  
"Zell; keep comments like that to yourself please."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Hey Squall. What's that in the search lights?" said Nida.  
  
"It looks like Rinoa's holdall. Oh this can't be good." Said Squall.  
  
"I wonder how long ago she dropped it." Said Zell.  
  
"Hopefully not long."  
  
"It does look a little tattered Squall."  
  
"Nida. Can this thing go any faster?"  
  
"I'll try." Said Nida.  
  
'Come on. Come on. Where are you Rinoa? Hyne please look after her. I need her.'  
  
_"__Squall. Squall quick. I've got something. Over to the left. It's a monster. And something that is most definitely not a monster_."  
  
"Nida, turn this thing to the left. Hurry. Rinoa needs us."  
  
'Hurry up. I need to help my Sorceress. She needs her knight. She needs me.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
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'I… can't… run… any… longer. To… exhausted. I… guess… I'm… fated… to… die… here… and… now. I'm… sorry… Squall. I… still… love you. I… hope… you… love… me.'  
  
Rinoa collapses to the ground, exhausted. She can't run any more, too tired to move her legs any more.  
  
'It looks like this Torama is going to be the cause of my death. I hope it won't hurt to much. I don't want to die. I'm scared. But I can't fight it on my own, with just my hands. I'm not strong enough like Zell to defeat it.'  
  
'Squall… I wish you were here to protect me with Lion Heart. You see. Even though you have hurt me. My dying thoughts are of you.'  
  
The Torama bounds over to her stands over her. It slowly lowers its head and bites her…  
  
"AAAHHH"  
  
'Oh Hyne, burning pain. Why did the Torama just bite me in the shoulder? Why is it delaying the inevitable? Tears are streaming down my face. This is pure agony. Just get it over with, please. This is too painful for it to continue.'

  
She opens her eyes to look her last at the world. It seems to her as if the Torama is hesitating, and behind it she can just make out Balamb Garden speeding towards them, but she is convinced she is dreaming.'  
  
'Huh? What's this strange thrumming I can hear and feel through the ground? Is that Balamb Garden I can see? No, that's not possible. It left over two hours ago. The pain must be making me hallucinate, slip in and out of consciousness. Next thing I'm gonna see Squall, killing the Torama. But he isn't here. I'm only imagining this. It can't really be happening. I can only see it because I want it so badly. I'm loosing grip on reality. Everything is slowly turning black. Can't keep my eyes open. I can hear Squall calling me. I want to respond but can't. I have no energy. I'm dying…'  
  
At that she passes out, through fear, through pain, not seeing Squall coming to her rescue.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall runs through Garden, trying to get to Rinoa as quickly as he can. He runs from the Bridge to the elevator, hitting the ground floor button.  
  
'Hold on Rinoa, hold on. I'm coming; just don't let that fucking Torama kill her. She can't die, not like this. I have to be by her side, protecting her. She can't die. _Hyne everyone get out of my way_. I need to get to my Sorceress. I need to save her.'  
  
Through the elevator doors he can see the ground floor corridors are completely blocked. He hits the 2nd floor button, and runs to the back door.  
  
'The corridors are too blocked. I can't get to her. The elevator is so slow. I need to get out of the Garden; I need to save her. The second floor back door. I'll get out that way. It isn't so very far to the ground if I jump. I'll use Quezacotl to lower me.'  
  
_~ Quezacotl. ~  
  
~ Yes commander. ~  
  
~ Come to me. Help me get to the ground in one piece. ~  
  
~ As you wish commander. ~  
  
_As Squall reaches the door he summons Quezacotl. Once out side the door he jumps onto Quezacotl's back and rides to the ground.  
  
'Yes. I'm nearly there. Nearly close enough to jump and save Rinoa. Just hold on a few more seconds Rinoa. Just a few more.'  
  
"_Rinoa. Don't leave me. Die you fucking Torama, die._"  
  
Squall jumps from Quezacotl's back and swings Lion Heart at the Torama, killing it instantly. He bends down next to Rinoa and talks to her.  
  
'One hit. That's all it needed. One hit from Lion Heart. It died in one hit. Rinoa please be ok. Please.'  
  
"Rinoa, can you hear me. Speak to me, say something. Open your eyes please Rinoa. Give me some sign that your not dead. Anything. Please, don't be dead."  
  
'This is the first time I've cried in years. But I don't care. I love her so much. Hyne please don't let her be dead. I love her. She can't die. If she does I've failed as a knight. I couldn't protect her when she needed me. Rinoa you have to live, I need you.'  
  
Squall removes his coat, oblivious to the cold, and tries to stench the blood flow.  
  
'My coat. I'll wrap that round her wound. Try and stop the blood loss. She mustn't loose too much or she will die. I can't loose her. I can't. I haven't told her how I feel yet. I have to tell her. She has to know before she dies. I can't even cast a cure spell on her. I don't have any. I'm not a magic user. I have strength not magic. I'm useless. I can only just summon the Guardians.'  
  
He carefully picks up Rinoa and carries her back to Garden, as quickly as he can.  
  
'Where is everyone? I need Zell or Selphie. They are great magic users. The best is Rinoa but she can't heal herself right now. I'm gonna have to move her. No one is coming. She needs help. Now. My Hyne she's light. I never realised how light she was. She looks so pale.'  
  
"Rinoa; hold on please, only a little father til we're back at Garden. Just don't die. Don't leave me. I promise never to leave you again. Rinoa, keep breathing. Don't you dare stop. I am trying, trying to get you back in time."  
  
'Where is Dr. Kadowaki? She needs to be here to look after Rinoa. My love is dying and she's not here. Doesn't she realise Rinoa is dying. She desperately needs help.'  
  
"_Dr. Kadowaki? Dr. Kadowaki? Where are you?_"  
  
"I'm here Squall. Give Rinoa to my assistant, we'll look after her."  
  
"NO. I won't let her go, not again."  
  
"Squall, please, we need to help her."

  
"**I'll **carry her."  
  
"Fine, please hurry this way. I need to get her to the Infirmary to treat that bite."  
  
"She mustn't die Dr."  
  
"I'll try my best, but she may already be beyond help."  
  
"_Don't say that. She is never beyond help_."  
  
"I can only try. If she isn't willing to help save herself there is nothing I can do."  
  
"_No. You have to save her_."  
  
'Why am I shaking so? I know I'm crying, crying for Rinoa, crying for me. Crying silently. The tears just keep coming, I can't stop them. She can't die. There was so much life in her last time I saw her. She just can't die. There would be no point to my life without her.'  
  
"Squall, please place Rinoa here." Squall gently places Rinoa down on the bed. "I'll work on her shoulder now. Here take your coat back, though I think it may be ruined. If you could just step outsi-"  
  
"NO. I want to stay with her."  
  
"Squall I need space to try to help Rinoa, without that space she could die."  
  
"But I can't bear to leave her, all alone…"  
  
"You can wait outside if you want but I don't know how long I'll be."  
  
"Fine, I'll wait outside."  
  
'I can leave her not now that I've just got her back. Can't… leave her… can't leave… her. I feel… so tired… but mustn't leave… mustn't… leave…'  
  
Squall leans against the wall and slowly slumps down it, exhaustion taking over him. the exhaustion of running to get Rinoa, carrying her, the exhaustion of nerves strung out. He sinks into a deep sleep on the floor of the infirmary, leaning against the wall, curled up round his coat, the last thing of his to touch Rinoa.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Huh? What's that strange ringing? I don't understand where it's coming from.'  
  
"Irvine, Irvine, wake up."  
  
"Wha??"  
  
"Irvine, your phone is ringing."  
  
"Well answer it then darling."  
  
"I can't you idiot, this is your dorm. I shouldn't even be here."  
  
'Damn. Good point.'  
  
He picks up the phone and answers it rather sleepily. He glances at the clock and notices it is 1.26am.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Irvine? Sorry to bother you at this time."  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki. What do you want at 1am?"  
  
"Could you do me a favour Irvine?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Can you come down to the Infirmary? I need your help."  
  
'Great, just when I don't want to leave Selphie.'  
  
"Sure I guess. See you in a few minutes Dr."  
  
'I really don't want to leave Selphie, we were so close. But Dr. Kadowaki needs my help.'  
  
"I'm sorry Selph, I gotta go. Please don't leave I'll be back as soon as I can."  
  
"But Irvine I shouldn't be here, won't we get in trouble if I stay."  
  
"It's cool Sefie, Squall knows, I think, and he didn't say anything."  
  
"Oh cool, ok, I'll wait for you."  
  
He hastily grabs some trousers and a top and pulls them on quickly. He leaves his hair down and leaves his dorm.  
  
'I wonder what Dr. Kadowaki wants. It's gotta be important otherwise she wouldn't ring at this hour. Blimey Garden seems spooky at this time. Well at least it isn't far to the Infirmary. Huh? Is that Zell ahead of me? Why's he up?'  
  
"Hey Zell." Zell is dressed only in his tracksuit bottoms, his hair lying down by the side of his face. He has obviously just woken up too.  
  
"Oh, Hi Irvine. What you doing up?"  
  
"I was about to ask you that."  
  
"Oh right, Dr. Kadowaki phoned saying she needed my help."  
  
"Huh? She rang me saying the same thing."  
  
"Strange, well I guess there is only one way to find out what she wants."  
  
"True. Don't you think Garden is spooky in this light?"  
  
"Yeah, kinda."  
  
They walk on in silence until they come to the Infirmary.  
  
'I'll leave him to his thoughts. It is 1am after all. I wonder why Dr. Kadowaki needs us both. I wonder if Rinoa's been found. I really hope so. It's been hours since she left.'  
  
"Hi Irvine, Zell. Thanks for coming down so late."  
  
"No probs doc. What do you need us for?" said Irvine.  
  
"Well Rinoa's been found. But Squall refused to leave after carrying her here. The only problem is that he was so tired after worrying and carrying Rinoa that he has collapsed into sleep and I can't move him. Would you two mind moving him to his dorm? I can't put him up here in case someone else comes in ill or injured."  
  
"No probs Dr. I think we can move him can't we Zell?"  
  
"Hmm? What? Oh, right, move Squall. Yeah I think we can manage it."  
  
"Thanks boys. You know I wouldn't have asked if it weren't an emergency."  
  
They both get one of Squall's arms around their necks and hoist him up, his head drops forward, but he doesn't wake. Irvine also grabs the coat he sees that Squall was holding.  
  
'Ugh. Hyne; he's heavier than he looks. Oh well.'  
  
They set of slowly heading for the dorms. Squalls feet drag along the floor though they do not make any sound.  
  
"You ok there Zell."  
  
"Yeah, let's just get him back to his dorm fast. He's kinda heavy."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I hope he hasn't locked his dorm door."  
  
"Hyne that would not be good."  
  
"I don't think Squall would appreciate us searching him, or breaking down his door."  
  
"No and it wouldn't look appropriate anyway."  
  
"Where's Squall's dorm again?"  
  
"Don't worry Zell, it's near mine."  
  
"Good. Not far then."  
  
'Gladness. Not much farther to go. I'm gonna ache in the morning from this. It's as if he is getting heavier the closer we get to his dorm. As if he doesn't want to go there. As if he unconsciously knows we have moved him away from Rinoa.'  
  
"Irvine is this it?"  
  
"Yeah that's his."  
  
"You wanna try the door."  
  
"Ok."  
  
'Please don't let it be locked. Oh Hyne please.'  
*click*  
  
"Yes! It isn't locked."  
  
"Well let's hurry up and get him inside. And celebrate later Irvine."  
  
"Ok, let's put him on his bed."  
  
"Yeah, might as well make him at least a little comfy."  
  
'Wow. He looks so peaceful. I hope there isn't too much pain in store for him and Rinoa. They don't need anymore. They don't deserve anymore. I wonder what made Rinoa leave in the first place. I wonder if she is ok. I forgot to ask. Well I better leave Squall to sleep.'  
  
Irvine puts the coat down on the chair then he and Zell leave Squall to sleep.  
  
"See ya in the morning Irvine."  
  
"It is the morning Zell."  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"Yeah see ya Zell."  
  
'I hope Selphie is still in my dorm. I want to hold her close and never let her go. I don't want to loose her like Squall nearly lost Rinoa.'  
  
"Hey Irvy."  
  
"Hey Sefie."  
  
"You back for the night now."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"What was that all about?"  
  
"Rinoa's been found and Squall refused to move. That is til he fell asleep. Zell and I just carried him back to his dorm."  
  
"Rinoa's found? Is she ok?"  
  
"Sorry Sefie I forgot to ask."  
  
"_Irvy_."  
  
"I'm sorry, let's just go back to sleep. We'll know soon enough."  
  
"True."  
  
"Night Sefie."  
  
"Night Irvy."  
  
'Dare I hug Sefie? Will she take it the wrong way, or the right way?? I want to hold her close. Holder close and never let go. I don't want the fear of losing her.'  
  
"Irvy?"  
  
"Yeah Sefie?"  
  
"Hold me, please?" Irvine slowly and carefully puts his arms round Selphie and pulls her closer to him, holding her tight.  
  
"Sure Sefie. I was hoping you'd ask!"  
  
"Thanks Irvy. I dunno what I'd do if I lost you." She snuggles back into him, trying to get as close as possible.  
  
"Same. Don't dwell on it. Let's just go to sleep."  
  
"Night."  
  
"Night."  
  
'This is what I wanted. I hope she does love me, as I love her so much. I miss her when I don't see her. I'll ask her in the morning… in the morning…'  
  
Just as Irvine is dropping of to sleep he moves his head closer to his Selphie and breathes in the scent of her so that he will never forget it. His hair falls forward and gets tangled in hers, and the two of them sleep peacefully together, Irvine cuddling Selphie.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
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'Am I dead? Is this what it feels like to be dead? I wouldn't of thought it would be so painful. But then again I didn't know what to expect. But I didn't expect so much pain. Squall, why aren't you here for me? I'm scared. I need you Squall. I need comfort, why aren't you here?'  
  
'This is so painful. I don't want to feel it anymore. Just want to sink away from it. Back to where I can't feel it anymore. Where it doesn't hurt so much.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Irvine is awake, leaning on an elbow looking down at Selphie, who is asleep. His hair is loose, some of it falls in front of his face, and he takes it in his free hand, and flicks it back over his shoulder. He gentle strokes Selphie's hair, and regretfully he tries to wake her.  
  
"Hey Selphie, wake up."  
  
"Hmmm, whatdoyawant Irvy?"  
  
"I can't sleep. I'm going to go visit Rinoa."  
  
"Mm ok, seeyoulater."  
  
Irvine leaves Selphie and quietly gets dressed. He puts on his tan leather trousers, and a deep purple vest top. He grabs the first thing he sees to tie his hair back with, which happens to be an elastic band, and leaves his dorm. He heads further into the Dormitory area.  
  
'But before I go see Rinoa, I'm just going to check on Squall. I don't want him to wake up too soon. A sleeping spell may be in order.'  
  
He arrives at Squall's dorm and quietly opens the door to see if Squall is stirring or not.  
  
'Hmm he is stirring. I want to talk to Rinoa without him there. Ah well, I guess it can't be helped.'  
  
_~ Sleep. ~  
  
_'That should keep him out the way for several more hours. I think he needs the sleep anyway. Really, I'm just doing him a kindness. He needs some time when he cannot worry about anything, and right now, the only time he gets that is when he's sleeping.'  
  
Irvine quietly closes Squall's door and leaves the Dormitories, heading for the Infirmary.  
  
'Well off to the Infirmary. Hyne I really hate that place. It makes me feel ill not better. I think it is something to do with the smell.'  
  
'Garden is very quite right now. I guess that's because it is really early. 6am is early for most people. But when you're a sniper, you often can't sleep so 6am isn't new to me. So peaceful. I like it. I wish Garden were like this more often, you can do a lot of thinking in this quietness.'  
  
Irvine arrives at the Infirmary and sees Dr. Kadowaki busy at her computer.  
  
"Hey Irvine."  
  
"Hey Dr. Kadowaki."  
  
"Are you ok? I hope you're not ill."  
  
"No, no, nothing like that."  
  
"Good, so why are you here at this time in the morning?"  
  
"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come and see how Rinoa is getting on."  
  
"Well, I've managed to repair the damage the Torama did to her shoulder. But how she really is, I can't tell. She keeps getting close to returning to consciousness but each time she does, she sinks back deeper again. I'm worried. All I can say is that she keeps calling out for Squall, though it seems to pain her. She looks hurt every time she says his name. Did you have any problems with him last night?"  
  
"No, none what so ever. Though when I did go check on him this morning, I did cast a sleep spell on him."  
  
"Oh and why did you do that?"  
  
"I want him to get some rest, and also I want to talk to Rinoa on my own before he does. And possibly causes trouble."  
  
"You know Irvine, you're a good friend."  
  
"Thanks Dr. Kadowaki."  
  
"No problems, Irvine. Do you want to go and sit with Rinoa?"  
  
"Yeah please, if that's ok."  
  
"Go ahead. It won't do any harm."  
  
Irvine enters the room Rinoa is in. She is lying on the bed, looking pale against the white of the sheets and her black hair. He walks over to the side of her bed and looks down on her.  
  
'Rinoa. What made you leave Garden? It's so dangerous out there. What happened that made you want to leave so badly? I wish you would wake up. I need to talk to you before Squall wakes from the sleeping spell I put on him.'  
  
He sits on the chair next to her bed, looking intently at her.  
  
'Wow, she looks so peaceful. I wonder what's going on in that pretty head of hers.'  
  
"Rinoa, Rinoa please wake up. I need to talk to you before Squall wakes."  
  
'Huh? When I mentioned Squall's name she looked really pained. I don't get it. What's happened that has made her associate pain with his name?'  
  
"Rinoa. Wake up please. I really need to talk to you. I need to know what's happened to make you hurt so much."  
  
'I can't sit here all day, waiting for her to wake up. I know I'll ask Dr. Kadowaki to call me when she wakes, and to keep Squall out if she can. I think Rinoa needs to talk to someone. Someone who _isn't_ Squall.'  
  
He leaves the room and approaches Dr. Kadowaki at her computer. It looks as if she is battling with sleep that is threatening to take over her.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki."  
  
"Yes Irvine."  
  
"Would it be possible for you to call me when Rinoa wakes up please?"  
  
"Sure no problem."  
  
"And can you try and keep Squall out."  
  
"I can try. But I can't promise. He does have more authority than me."  
  
"If he gives you any trouble, I suggest a sleep spell. It works well!"  
  
"Now Irvine, you know I don't believe in these spells you cast on yourselves, never know what they may do to you if something goes wrong."  
  
"True, but they do make things so much easier."  
  
"Hmm. Well if you will keep insisting on using them."  
  
"See you later doc."  
  
"Bye Irvine."  
  
Irvine leaves the Infirmary and starts to wander aimlessly round Garden, thinking.  
  
'I hope Rinoa wakes up soon. And before Squall. I want to talk to her without him hammering on the door trying to get in. I don't want her to get upset. I don't want to have to cast another sleep spell on Squall. It's not good for me, or him. Me because I need time to build up my magic reserves. Him because it's not good for you to have too many spells cast on you in a short period of time. It would be draining for him to.'  
  
'Hmmm, the sun is starting to rise. I think I'll go up to the second floor exit and watch it rise over the ocean. I haven't had the chance to do that I so long. I used to enjoy it. Nature talking to me in colors. No sounds except those that nature has created. Such a peaceful time of day, that and sunset.'  
  
He heads for the elevator and presses the second floor button. He notices as he ascends up the centre of Garden that he is the only one up and wandering round Garden like him. the elevator arrives at the second floor and he leaves heading for the exit. As he arrives the sun is just starting to show over the sea. He sits on the wall surrounding the open area, and watches the sun, thinking. The sun is creating may varied patterns on the sea, in pale pinks, blues, purples, and yellows.  
  
'The sunrise looks breath taking today. I may think that because I haven't watched the sunrise in ages. I used to watch it rise and set everyday. I miss having the freedom to do that. I wish I still had that freedom. What amazing colors nature can create. And it makes me feel so peaceful. I wish this amazing color display would last forever. Just so that I can go on watching it. I hope Rinoa wakes soon. I should check on Squall soon. Make sure he isn't stirring and ruins things.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'So much pain. I don't want to return there. It hurts too much. I want to sink back to the bliss of not knowing pain.'  
  
"Rinoa, Rinoa listen to me. Wake up Rinoa."  
  
'That voice. Sounds so familiar. I know it but can't place it. I want to keep listening, but there is to much pain. Can't concentrate on anything but the pain.'  
  
"Rinoa, open your eyes. I know you can hear me. Open your eyes."  
  
'No, I don't want to. It hurts too much. Squall, Squall take the pain away. I don't want to feel the pain. Someone take the pain away, please?'  
  
"Rinoa, open you eyes, now."  
  
'But I don't want to. Squall; help me, Squall, Squall,'  
  
"Squall."  
  
"Nice to see you open your eyes at last."  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki?"  
  
"Yes Rinoa."  
  
"Am I alive? How'd I get here?"  
  
"Yes you are and Squall carried you here."  
  
"Squall?"  
  
"Yes. Why do you have so much hatred in your voice when you say his name?"  
  
"Oh no reason."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine, other that the burning pain in my shoulder."  
  
"Do you want something to take that pain away?"  
  
"No. I'd rather feel it. It makes me feel alive."  
  
"Ok, if your sure, but if it gets too much let me know."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Dr. Kadowaki leaves the room and goes to user her phone. Rinoa is left thinking about what happened.  
  
'I'm… alive? But how. The last thing I remember is the Torama above me, about to bite my head off. And the fear of that moment. How'd I survive? I know how I got here. Squall carried me here. But why'd he do that? He doesn't care for me; he proved that with the dinner appointment.'  
  
'I don't want to be here; I want to be as far away from here as possible, away from Squall and the pain he's caused me.'  
  
"Hello you said you wanted me to call."  
  
'Huh? Who's Dr. Kadowaki talking to?'  
  
"Well she's awake, are you going to come down?"  
  
'Oh no, not Squall please not Squall. I don't want to talk to him. I can't talk to him. I'm too hurt by him to even think straight. I have to get out of here before he gets here.'  
  
Rinoa tries to get up, leaning on her injured arm, forgetting for a moment that is was injured, but burning pain sears through it and she collapses back onto the bead, screaming.  
  
"AHH"  
  
'It hurts so much to move. But I have to.'  
  
"Hang on a minute, I'll be right back." Dr. Kadowaki leaves the phone and runs into Rinoa's room. "Rinoa what do you think you are doing?"  
  
"I… I have to leave."  
  
"You're not going anywhere, not yet anyway."  
  
"But I can't stay."  
  
"You can and you will. Now stay there in the bed."  
  
Dr. Kadowaki walks back to the phone and continues her conversation.  
  
"Sorry about that. Rinoa was trying to leave. So you'll come down immediately. Great. See you in a few minutes."  
  
'No I can't bear to see him. I want to leave, want to be far away from here. What can I do? I can't leave; I've just proved that to myself. It hurts to much to move. But what can I do to avoid Squall? I can't hide here, I'm on show. And Dr. Kadowaki's called him here, so it's not like he won't come. _What can I do?_ Crying won't help but I can't help it. I don't want to see him.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Irvine is still sat on the wall of the second floor exit. The sun has long since risen but he decided not to move. Enjoying the warmth of the sun. he is startled when the phone rings but doesn't move til the end of the conversation. He regretfully leaves the balcony, but decides that he needs to see Rinoa, soon.  
  
'I'd better check on Squall, don't want him interrupting me and Rinoa. I want to talk to her before he wakes. I think it's for the best.'

  
He hurries down to Squall's dorm, running part of the way, hoping he won't meet anyone on the way. He arrives at Squall's dorm, slightly out of breath, and peeps in the dorm.  
  
'Oh good, he's still asleep. That means I don't have to worry about him to much. He should be out for several more hours. He doesn't appear to be fighting the sleep. He needs it poor guy.'  
  
'I'd better hurry to the Infirmary. If Rinoa has tried to leave, that means there is definitely something wrong. I need to find out what it is. And I have a feeling it is something to do with Squall. I think I need to talk to them both individually, before they see each other. I need to start with Rinoa, seeing as she seems to have the problem. All this needs to be sorted, before it's too late.'  
  
He hurries to the Infirmary, though not running this time as people are starting to appear around Garden.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki."  
  
"Irvine."  
  
"So how is she?"  
  
"Panicked. I'm not sure what's wrong, but she seems to think she can't stay here."  
  
"That's worrying. Is that her crying I can here?"  
  
"Yes, she really is distraught."  
  
"Is it ok if I go and talk to her?"  
  
"Go ahead; I can't see it doing any harm."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
'I need to sort this out, before it's too late.'  
  
He enters the room, ready to talk to Rinoa.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Is that Irvine's voice I can hear? Does that mean it wasn't Squall Dr. Kadowaki was calling? Oh please let that be so. I can't face Squall. Not yet. I need to think about things before I face him. I can't face him yet. Once I've thought about how I feel I'll be able to face him. Just not right now. In a few days maybe, but not now.'  
  
She bursts into tears, tears of relief that it wasn't Squall Dr. Kadowaki was calling.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey Rinoa, can I come in?"  
  
"…"  
  
"How are you? Feeling better I hope. Do you mind talking to me? Please?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Rinoa, please stop crying, I don't know what's happened but surly it isn't worth all these tears."  
  
"Oh Irvine."  
  
"It's ok, Rinoa, try and calm down. I'm here for you."  
  
Irvine goes over to Rinoa's bed and sits down next to her, stroking her hair. Rinoa is lying down on her bed, facing away from Irvine. When he sits down she turns over and sits up, latching onto Irvine, and crying more. He holds her back, sensing that she needs someone to hold onto, and to hold her.  
  
'Gosh I hope neither Squall nor Selphie come in here anytime soon. They may interpret this in the wrong way. I mean all I'm doing is hugging her. But the frame of mind Squall's in right now, he'd probably take it the wrong way. And I just can't bear hurting Selphie.'  
  
"Cry all you need to Rinoa. I'll stay as long as you want me to."  
  
"Just h-hold me, p-please Irvine."  
  
'Wow she really is upset; her sobs are racking her whole body. I never knew emotions could be so powerful. I guess it's the fact I have to suppress mine due to being a Sniper. I need to be able to focus, to ignore personal feelings. I need to learn to open up to people again. I can't that easily…'  
  
"Irvine?"  
  
"Yes Rinoa?"  
  
"Did you come here to talk to me about Squall?"  
  
"Yes, but only if you want to."  
  
"I do. But I don't know where to begin."  
  
"How about with why you left Garden?"  
  
"O-ok. I left because I found out that Squall is seeing someone else."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well I phoned up Balamb Hotel to book a table for two for Squall and me, for Friday night. But when I did the person at the Hotel told me that 'Commander Leonhart already has a table booked for two for that night'. When I found this out I realised he was seeing someone else. And that he didn't really love me, he loves the girl he is taking out to dinner on Friday. It hurt me so much that I had to leave. I couldn't bear the though of seeing him walking round with someone latched onto his arm, someone that wasn't me. I love him so much Irvine that I couldn't bear to see him with someone else. So I thought it better not to see him at all than to see him with someone else." She breaks down into tears again.'  
  
'Oh Rinoa, you don't know how wrong you've got this…'  
  
"Rinoa, Rinoa look at me please. That table Squall booked, it wasn't for him and someone else, and it was for you and him. He wanted to take you out to dinner to discuss something. I can't say what that's for him to tell you."  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"He wanted to talk you out to dinner. Not someone else, you."  
  
"H-he wanted to-to take m-me out?"  
  
"Yes Rinoa."  
  
"B-but he never s-said anything t-to me."  
  
"I don't think he had found the right time to ask you."  
  
"Oh Irvine I feel like such an idiot. I've blown this whole thing out of proportion haven't I?"  
  
"I'm afraid so Rinoa."  
  
"Can you go talk to him for me; I can't face him right now."  
  
"Sure Rinoa. I was going to anyway."  
  
"Thanks Irvine, you're the greatest."  
  
"I know!"  
  
Irvine heads out of the Infirmary, heading for the dormitories to face Squall.  
  
'I just wish Selphie felt the same about me, ah well, here I go to try to talk to Squall without him going completely mental when he finds out Rinoa is awake. Why is everything left up to me? I can't deal with everything you know people. But then again I do always seem to be in the wrong place if I want to avoid these things. Everyone sees me as the one who knows everything. But really I'm as lost as everyone else. How can I sort everyone else's problems but not my own? Oh well into the lion's den I go. Hehe lion's den, Squall Leonhart, sometimes I out do myself!'  
  
"Squall, Squall wake up I need to talk to you."  
  
"Notrightnow."  
  
"Yes Squall, wake up now."  
  
"Go 'way."  
  
"No I won't Squall. I need to talk to you about Rinoa."  
  
"Mmmm Rinoa. She 'wake?"  
  
"Yea, but before you go see her I need to talk to you about something."  
  
"Hmph"  
  
'Oh I thought that would have prompted a larger reaction than just a hmph. Strange. Maybe it just need to sink in. It should kick in right about… now…'  
  
"_What she's awake_? I have to go, now I have to see her."  
  
"_Squall stop_."  
  
"What's wrong Irvine can't it wait til later?"  
  
"No this can't."  
  
"Buy my Angel is awake again. How long have I been out?"  
  
"I'd say about fourteen hours."  
  
"_Fourteen hours_??? How long has she been awake?"  
  
"About an hour."  
  
"I have to go see her."  
  
"_No Squall_. I have to talk to you first. This is more important. It's about Rinoa."  
  
"What's wrong with her? Is she hurt? Injured? Is she ok? Is she … dead? Doesn't she want to see me?"  
  
"Slow down Squall. She's fine now."  
  
"What do you mean now?"  
  
"Well after I talked to her, hugged her, explained a few things to her."  
  
"_What? You were there to comfort her, not me??"  
  
_"She didn't want to see you at the time."  
  
"_Why ever not? I'm her knight_."  
  
"Squall, why didn't you tell her you were going to take her out to dinner?"  
  
"I tried but I couldn't find the right time. What's that got to do with anything?"  
  
"Rinoa rang up Balamb Hotel to book a table for you and her, the same night you'd already booked one. The hotel said you already had a table, but didn't say who with. She thought you were seeing someone else."  
  
"Oh Hyne, no wonder she left. I have to go see her, go explain things to her. I have to make her see I didn't mean to hurt her."  
  
"Squall, I've already explained. She knows she misinterpreted the information. And she's sorry. But still slightly upset."  
  
"Do you think it is a good idea to go see her?"  
  
"It's up to you. But I think she wants to see you. Possibly not now but soon."  
  
"Can you go see her again for me please? I need to know how she is."  
  
"I guess I can."  
  
"Thanks Irvine, you've done so much for me in the last few days I don't know how to thank you."  
  
"I'll think of something, don't worry!"  
  
'Well I guess I had better make another trip to the Infirmary, see Rinoa again. Hope she isn't resting, that would just be awkward, not to mention annoying. But she does need it. Ah well, time to brave Dr. Kadowaki again. Not that I don't like her, it's just she scares me, and sick bay makes me feel ill. Stupid place.'  
  
He heads out of the dormitories, towards the Infirmary. Making a quick detour by the Cafeteria to get himself some well earned breakfast!  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall paces around his dorm, impatient to see Rinoa. He moves from the window, to his bed, to his table and back to the window again. He can't keep still, thinking about Rinoa.  
  
'Can't you hurry up Irvine? I want to go see my Angel but I don't want to hurt her. I want to be there for her, I want to comfort her, I want to hold her, and never let go. I'm going to have to tell her how I feel this time. Not in a fancy restaurant, here, in the Infirmary, before something else goes wrong. She has to know how I feel. Even though it does scare me, I have to tell her. I can't let things get out of hand. I can't let someone else tell her. It has to be me. I want to tell her… but I'm still scared. I'm not sure how to tell her.'  
  
'I guess I just have to be truthful, explain how I feel, the same as I did with Irvine. I have to let her know, before it becomes too late.'  
  
'Hyne Irvine, what's taking you so long? I can't wait any longer, I have to go to the Infirmary, I have to see my angel.'  
  
He leaves his dorm, to impatient to wait for Irvine to return. Heading for the Infirmary, he ignores everyone around him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
-----------  
  
Irvine enters the Infirmary for what feels like the hundredth time, that day. Dr. Kadowaki acknowledges him but doesn't say anything. He enters Rinoa's room and sits down on the chair. She looks slightly bemused at his return.  
  
"Hey Rinoa."  
  
"Irvine, how come you're here again?"  
  
"Well to tell the truth, I promised Squall I'd come talk to you again."  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
"He really wants to talk to you Rinoa."  
  
"I guessed he would."  
  
"But the message I'm getting from you is that you don't want to talk to him."  
  
"Not really, not yet."  
  
"How come Rinoa?"  
  
"I just don't feel I can face him right now. I feel like I've let him down. That I've ruined everything."  
  
"What makes you feel like this?"  
  
"I'm not sure. The fact that I ran away. The fact I got myself into a dangerous situation. The fact I nearly died." And then quieter "The fact that I had to be rescued by him."  
  
"Rinoa, those things are nothing to feel ashamed about."  
  
"But I can't help but feel this way."  
  
"Squall doesn't blame you for any of those things. If anything he blames himself."  
  
"_Himself? Why?_ I did everything of my own choice. It's nothing to do with him, so why does he feel guilty?"  
  
"I think he felt that he drove you to it. That he forced you away."  
  
"No he didn't, No… No… _No… No… No go away; leave me alone, I can't talk to you, I…_" She is looking past Irvine at the window in her room which looks out into the corridor.  
  
"Rinoa what's wrong, what's happened?"  
  
"_Just go away_." She screams before she breaks down crying.  
  
'What has caught her attention, what is causing her so much distress? Is it something I said?' His gaze follows Rinoa's to the window of the room. 'Oh Fuck, Squall, I said I'd come and get you when I'd talked to her.  
  
"_Squall, leave, she isn't ready to talk to you._"  
  
"Irvine, make him go away, please… please?" She clings desperately to Irvine.  
  
"_Squall, just leave. Dr. Kadowaki, make him leave. For Rinoa's sake. She's distraught._" He holds Rinoa close.  
  
Irvine watches as three Garden Faculty members grab hold of Squall. He is struggling as hard as he can keeps breaking free of them, but eventually they drag him out of the Infirmary. They post two Garden Faculty members on the door to the Infirmary to prevent Squall returning to the Infirmary to see Rinoa.  
  
'I…I can't believe I just did that to Squall. I… I kept him from Rinoa. He looked so hurt when I got Dr. Kadowaki to make him leave… He really didn't want to leave.'  
  
"Shhhh, it's ok Rinoa, he's gone."  
  
'I can't believe I just did that to my best friend. I made him leave his love, kept her from him. What sort of friend does that? It took 3 of the Garden Faculty to restrain him. He looked so desperate. He needs to see her. They need to talk, but first I need to calm Rinoa down. I need to persuade her to talk to him.'  
  
"Rinoa… Rinoa look at me please. I need to talk to you. You don't need to say anything, but please let me talk to you. Squall cares for you, I know he does. He cares for you a lot, and he hates seeing you upset. He needs to talk to you himself, tell you this stuff, and other things, but I know he cares. Please, please will you let him talk to you? I know it's going to be hard for the both of you, but you need to talk." He hugs Rinoa tight.  
  
'Please Rinoa, just let him talk to you, let him explain. He cares more that I can tell or show you. It has to come from him. Not from me.'  
  
"Will you talk to him?"  
  
"Oh… Ok."  
  
"Thank you Rinoa, Thank you so much."  
  
'I'll stay a few minutes longer; I'll stay until she calms down, until she has stopped crying. I can't leave her in this state, but I do need to go talk to Squall…'  
  
Irvine remains in the Infirmary hugging Rinoa, comforting her.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall is passing round his room; he is fuming about being thrown out of the Infirmary by both Irvine, his best friend, but also by Rinoa, his sorceress, and his love.  
  
'Why? Why wouldn't she talk to me? Wouldn't she look at me? I saved her from that Torama, yet all she can do is scream and shout as if she hates me. And turn to _Irvine_. My best friend. She finds more comfort in him than me; I don't understand what's happened to make her trust him more than me.'  
  
'I'm supposed to be her knight, but how can I be if she won't let me near her. When she started to cry all I wanted to do was to run in and hold her, but instead Irvine does. And he called Dr. Kadowaki, who in turn gets the Garden Faculty members to pull me away. As if I'm nothing to her. I feel so hurt, so betrayed. I mean it was me that killed the Torama, saved her, and she is grateful to Irvine, what did he do to save her? Nothing.'  
  
He pauses next to his window looking out and thinking. He has to squint due to the brightness of the sun. It is shinning directly into his room and straight onto him. He can hardly see anything due to the brightness of the sun. He loves the warmth on his body but is thinking about other things.   
  
'I need to talk to him, to her. To both of them. I need to get things sorted. They can't go on how they are.'  
  
'I wonder if he has left the Infirmary yet… I can't go back there yet. I've already been escorted from there once today, let's NOT make it twice. That wouldn't look good. Especially as I am the commander of Balamb Garden. I guess I could check his dorm, the Cafeteria, but I really want to go to the Infirmary. I could get someone else to go into the Infirmary, just to check if he is still there, and to make sure Rinoa looks ok.'  
  
'I'll get Zell to go. He never seems to mind going and doing things for me. I guess he is a good friend, though sometimes a little annoying. I guess he'll be in the cafeteria try to get hot dogs as usual. How can he like those things, the smell bad and taste even worse?'  
  
Squall quickly leaves his dorm and heads straight for the Cafeteria. He doesn't look at anyone as he strides towards the Cafeteria, and, people have learnt from watching him, people avoid getting in his way.  
  
'Wow the Cafeteria seems empty, but my hunch paid off. Zell is here, and with hot dogs.'  
  
"Hey Zell."  
  
"Hi Squall. How are ya?"  
  
"Yeah I'm ok. Umm can you do me a favour please Zell?"  
  
"I guess, as long as I can finish my hot dogs first."  
  
"Sure, can you got to the Infirmary and see if Irvine is still there, and also make sure Rinoa looks ok please?"  
  
"Ok, don't mind me asking but why can't you go?" He looks puzzled.  
  
"I had to be escorted out of there earlier, for upsetting a patient."  
  
"WOW, the mighty Squall upset someone, Who???"  
  
"Zell, it doesn't matter who. Can you just go see if Irvine is there, and if Rinoa looks ok?"  
  
"Ok. Hey if Irvine is there what do you want me to say to him?"  
  
"Just tell him I want to talk to him."  
  
Zell quickly finishes his hot dogs and leaves the Cafeteria in his normal slow walk. Squall sits down at the table and waits for Zell to return, but unable to keep still.  
  
'Sometimes Zell can be too inquisitive. I just hope he does this right, and doesn't do anything to get himself in trouble. I guess I could check Irvine's dorm before Zell gets back. I could get there and back before Zell even reaches the Infirmary, he walks so slowly.'  
  
He leaves the Cafeteria at an even faster pace than he entered and walks straight to the dormitories and to Irvine's dorm.  
  
'Garden really is quiet during the day. I never realised it before. I guess that's because I'm always shut away in my office. I really should get out more. I should check round Garden myself, rather than just trusting that nothing has gone wrong because no one has come and told me something has gone wrong.'  
  
'Ahh, Irvine's Dorm. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.' He knocks on door.  
  
'Ok this doesn't look very promising.'  
  
"Hey Irvine, you in there?"  
  
'Damn, that's pretty much a no. I guess he's still in the Infirmary with Rinoa. Zell should come back with him though. Time to head back for the Cafeteria I guess. Better make sure I get there before Zell does.'  
  
He walks back to the Cafeteria deep in thought, but swings by his dorm and picks up Lionheart for no apparent reason that he can determine, but nether the less takes it from it's case and straps it to his side.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
"Rinoa, do you mind if leave now? I think I need to talk to Squall. I mean I did get him sent away. He deserves an explanation."  
  
"Yeah, you're right Irvine. Thanks."  
  
"No problem. If you ever want to talk you know where to find me."  
  
"Yeah at the centre of a group of girls!"  
  
"Hey Rinoa, you know there is only one girl for me, Selphie."  
  
"Sorry Irvy, but it had to be said."  
  
"Hmmm. Not sure I forgive you Rinoa Heartily."  
  
"Oh come on Irvine I was only kidding."  
  
"I know. Sorry Rin. See ya later Rin."  
  
'I do feel bad about getting him sent away, but Rinoa isn't ready to face him, not yet. Soon.'  
  
"Hey Rinoa."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"When do you want to see Squall?"  
  
"Umm, to be truthful I don't really know, soon, give me a few hours."  
  
"Ok Rin."  
  
He leaves the Infirmary heading for Squall's dorm which is the only place he can think of that Squall could be.  
  
'A few hours; great. How am I meant to keep him away that long? I'll have to think of something and fast. He can't see her for several hours. I guess the only thing there is to do really is to take him down the training centre and distract him with the hacking and slashing of beasties there. Or I could just talk to him.'  
  
As he is walking he isn't really paying attention to the people walking around him, so he jumps out of his skin when he hears his name being called.  
  
"_Hey __Irvine_."  
  
"Zell?"  
  
"Whatcha doin?"  
  
"Other than being startled by you, nothing, why?"  
  
"Well, Squall's said he wants to talk to you."  
  
"He actually said that?"  
  
"Yeah that and he wants me to check on Rinoa."  
  
"Zell she's fine, now. Don't go and bother her, she needs time to think."  
  
"I guess I don't really need to bother her. Think about what?"  
  
"Her problems, Squall, it doesn't really matter that much Zell. Just let her be. Ok?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"So where is Squall?"  
  
"I left him in the Cafeteria."  
  
"Seems like a good place to start then."  
  
"It does rather doesn't it!"  
  
'How am I meant to explain all this to Squall? I don't really understand it myself; all I know is that Rinoa needs time to think, about her, Squall and what she is going to do.'  
  
'Hey I know! I'll take him out to wander round, where ever we happen to be. I'm not overly sure of where we are right now. But I know one thing, we ain't moving! And without Squall around to give orders we won't suddenly move somewhere else. Perfect. That should distract him. And there maybe a few monsters to kill also just to keep him busy. I'd better just drop by my dorm to get Exeter, and make sure I have enough bullets. Then to the Cafeteria.'  
  
"Hey Zell you go on ahead to the Cafeteria, I'll be there in two minutes. Just go to go get something."  
  
"Sure, whatcha gonna go get."  
  
"Doesn't matter Zell. Just tell Squall I'll be there in a few minutes."  
  
"Ok."  
  
'I don't really want Zell to be with us. I've got nothing against the guy; I just think that Squall won't be that comfortable with him there. I mean he was annoyed when I told Zell about Squall's and Rinoa's problems. So I think it is better that it is just me and Squall. Sorry Zell. I know you mean well but you do often make problems worse.'  
  
Irvine hurries to his dorm to get his gun. When he arrives at his dorm he heads straight for the box under his bed. Within this box is his most prised possession. Exeter. He sits looking at the gun for a few minutes, lovingly stroking the metal barrel and thinking about the bullets he has and also the origins of his gun.  
  
'Ah here you are baby, my gorgeous Exeter. You have just the right weight in my hands. The best gun there is going right now, and boy did the guy know it who upgraded you. It cost me a lot but she is worth it, or at least I reckon she is. It maybe a good idea to get more bullets for you soon baby, looks like I'm starting to run a little low on dark and pulse ammo. I must say though I don't really like using pulse ammo, they have a _lot_ of recoil. Too much if you ask me, but they certainly are powerful.'  
  
'Well I guess it's time I should be going to find Squall. I hope he hasn't gotten impatient waiting for me, I'd better hurry to make sure that he hasn't. It won't do anyone any good if he goes to see Rinoa. She said to keep him away for several hours. And it's only been ¼ an hour so far. I'd better hurry. Why do things in this Garden seem to far apart when you're in a hurry? Not like Galbadia at all. Everything seemed close there.'  
  
He walks quickly round Balamb Garden; nodding acknowledgements to people that catch his eye. Also making a group of girl cadets giggle as he smiles at them. He enters the Cafeteria and looks round for Squall and Zell.  
  
'At last the Cafeteria. And Squall is still here, with Zell unfortunately, but at least he is still here. It would have been very awkward if he hadn't been.'  
  
He heads for the table they are sat at, apprehension rising in him at the thought of the confrontation that is inevitable between him and Squall.  
  
"Hey Squall."  
  
"Finally, you get here. Can we talk please?"  
  
"Sure I came to talk to you anyway. I owe you an explanation."  
  
"Too right you do." His voice raises. "What the hell do you think you were doing getting me thrown out of the Infirmary? All I want to do is see Rinoa, talk to her, and you got be thrown out."  
  
"Squall this isn't the best place for this. Have you got Lionheart with you? Good. Can we go outside, where it is less public. It would be better that way."  
  
"Fine. Just hurry up about it."  
  
They walk in silence through Garden, Irvine uncomfortable with this fact, but not making any effort to change this. Squall looks sullen as ever but Irvine is getting more and more nervous about when they stop to talk.  
  
'Hyne, he seems pissed off. Mind you he does have every right to be. I did keep him from his love, get him thrown out of the Infirmary, and I was there for Rinoa when he couldn't be and I think that hurt him.'  
  
They enter a forest that was near to where they left Garden. The forest is amazingly thick with a lot of greenery in it. Irvine stops in a small clearing and sits on a log; Squall remains standing with his gunblade drawn.  
  
'Wow the landscape here looks pretty. So green and luscious and so many trees. It seems so dark here. I guess that's because of the dense layer of branches acting as a ceiling here. It's amazing, breathtaking almost. It's as if we are the first people to see this place. It looks untouched by humans. And there isn't a monster in sight. This is amazing. I never knew there were so many different shades of green. This really is nature at it's finest. I wish we never had to leave here. And so cool, compared to the deserts we've been in recently. Also rather humid. Really pleasant in fact, it reminds me of the Training Centre, only this isn't artificially produced, this is natural.'  
  
'I would love to bring Selphie here. And I think she would like it here also. This is the sort of place that never looks the same twice. I wouldn't be surprised if there were wild Chocobos here. There are hardly any of them left. They like to live in dark, green, wooded areas. Like this. I think this would be the perfect place for wild Chocobos.'  
  
"I'm waiting Irvine."  
  
"Come on Squall, don't you think this place is amazing, take a few moments to admire it. We may never see it again."  
  
"I guess, but I'm not waiting all day."  
  
'How am I going to explain this to him? I can't even think about how to begin let alone tell him Rinoa wants time to herself, to think about him, and her. How do I explain this. I don't want to hurt him, but I need to delay him long enough so that she gets the chance to think, with out the fear of him suddenly appearing.'  
  
'I wish her weren't holding Lionheart so menacingly. I can tell he is annoyed, and I don't want to antagonise him, never know what might happen while he is holding that gunblade.'  
  
"Squall, please listen to what I have to say."  
  
"Fine, just get to the point, and quickly."  
  
"Ok, I want to talk to you about Rinoa."  
  
"What about her?"  
  
'Blimey. I really had better tread carefully, he sounds really annoyed. Erm how to begin…'  
  
Irvine stands up and looks directly into Squall's eyes.  
  
"Well she left garden because of the phone call to the hotel as I've already told you. She realises that she miss interpreted that now, but she is still hurting. It hurts her that you couldn't find the time to tell her that you were going to invite her, or the time to invite her to dinner. She was scared, lost even and tried to do the only thing she new, and that was to go to someone she new, and trusts, someone she has known for years. She wanted to take comfort in you but you were the one who had hurt her."  
  
"I hadn't found the right time to tell her."  
  
"I understand that Squall, but don't you think you should have found time to tell her?"  
  
"I guess, but I am the commander of Garden. I can't just drop everything at the drop of a hat to please her. I have to plan things, sometimes I wish I could spend more time with her, but it isn't easy."  
  
"Squall, you're the commander of Garden, not the person who has to sort everything. That's what other people are for."  
  
"But if I leave everything to other people they never get done. I have to do everything myself, or nothing will get done, and Garden will fall apart…" He continues.  
  
'Hyne, he actually thinks he has to do everything himself? He really has strong feelings about this. His raised voice, the way he is swinging his gunblade,' Irvine's gaze leaves Squall's eyes and he looks at Lionheart. He continues to stare at it realising that something is bugging him about it. He is having problems working out what it is though. 'Hang on, the safety catch, it's not on…'  
  
"I mean I can't let Garden fall into ruin, everyone looks up to me. Cid put me in charge, I didn't ask for it, in fact I hate it…" He continues over Irvine he is so mad.  
  
"_Squall_, the safety, on your gunblade it's not…"  
  
BANG  
  
*~*~*~*~


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Squaresoft and whoever else has legal claim own FF8 and its characters. This story was written for entertainment only and I gain no profit from it. Only help from people on writing.  
  
-----------  
  
'How am I meant to feel? I feel so left out, so dumb. I left Garden without getting facts straight. I just assumed. I assumed he was seeing someone else, just because he hadn't told me about it. I should have gathered more information before acting. But then again I have always been guilty of act first, think later. I just heard that he already had a table booked and it hurt me, I never thought that it could be for me as he hadn't asked me to go with him. The guy at the hotel acted as if it had been booked for ages. So why hadn't Squall got round to asking me? Am I that unapproachable? Is he scared of asking me? Is it the fact I come from somewhere else that scares him? The fact I haven't come from the orphanage, like everyone else. Nearly everyone else he knows has come from there so he's known them longer than me, even though the GFs made him forget about that. He still feels closer to them that me. He confided in Irvine when he wouldn't confide in me. Does he not trust me? Am I really that scary? What do I do?'  
  
'I think we need to talk, but I'm scared of how he'll be towards me. Will he be cold like he always is? Will I be able to see him if he is? I need to get something out of this relationship if it is to go any where. I need some input from him. I want him to be more open with me, to tell me how he feels about things. To help me understand him, I need some help. I can't do it without him giving me some help.'  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki, is it ok if I go in?"  
  
"Sure go right ahead, she's well enough for visitors."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
'Huh that sounds like Quistis, what's she doing here? She never really talks to me if she can help it. She just always seems to busy to talk. I wonder what she wants with me. Well I guess I'm about to find out as here she it.'  
  
Quistis walks into Rinoa's room in the Infirmary. She is wearing a black skirt and jacket with a blue top just visible under her zipped up jacket. Her hair is tied back in a high ponytail, held there but a blue band. She looks a little uncomfortable about the fact that she is visiting Rinoa, but nether the less she enters and sits on the chair.  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Hi Quistis. How can I help you?"  
  
"Well actually I was hoping I could help you. You see I feel I was rather short with Irvine and Selphie and Zell earlier so I was hoping I could make it up by helping you now."  
  
"Oh right. So, erm, what do you want to help me with?"  
  
"Well I thought you may need someone to talk to about how you feel, about how you want to proceed. I thought maybe I could help seeing as I've known Squall longer than you, I thought maybe I could help you interpret his actions."  
  
"Umm, well what do you want to know? I mean I don't really know where to start."  
  
'Quistis? Wants to help me? That's unusual; she normally keeps her distance from me. I wonder why she chose to suddenly try to help. The only problem is I don't know what to start with. I don't know what to say.'  
  
"Well, why don't you start with how you feel now? What you're thinking about right now."  
  
"Err ok. I know I've got to talk to Squall about how I feel, but the problem is I don't know how to start talking to him. I don't know what to say first. I don't know how he'll be towards me, and I'm scared of pushing him further away. I want to confide in him, but I want to get something back from him, whereas right now I don't. He is blocking me out of his life right now. As if I don't exist and I can't bear that. I want him to show some emotion, just something that shows he cares."  
  
"Rinoa, with Squall, the closer you get to him, the more he closes himself off. He is scared of being hurt, hurt like he was when sis left. He is scared everyone is going to do that to him. Or girls at least. I have the same problem with him. He won't let me in; won't let me see what he is feeling, he thinks girls will hurt him if he lets them get to close to him. You need to talk to him. Explain that you don't mean to hurt him. That you care for him. And you want him to show he cares back. It will have to be a gradual thing; he needs to learn he can depend on you. You need to help him learn this. Prove to him that you will always be there for him. And slowly he will learn to trust you."  
  
"Ok… but how do I start talking about him about it? I know that if I talk about it directly he will clam up and not say a word."  
  
"I'm not sure how you should start it Rinoa. That's something you need to figure out for yourself. I don't know how he will react; just take things slowly with him, ok? I don't want to see him hurt again, last time it tore him up inside."  
  
"I don't plan on hurting him; I just want to talk to him. Do you know where he is?"  
  
"He and Irvine left Garden about 2 hours ago. But I know they haven't returned, I guess they must be training or talking or something."  
  
"If you see Squall before I do, can you ask him to come and see me please?"  
  
"Of course Rinoa."  
  
"Thanks Quisty."  
  
'Strange. I never though Quisty to be the sensitive type. She really cares deeply for Squall. Like a mother or a sister.'  
  
'I think I'm ready to talk to Squall now, I hope Irvine doesn't keep him too much longer. I've just got to figure out how to start talking to him.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall is standing in the glade, his gunblade is still held in his right hand, and he is looking in shock at Irvine, who is lying on the floor near the log in the glade.  
  
'My safety catch … wasn't … on? How can that be? Irvine… Irvine are… are you ok? Please don't tell me I've killed you… I can't have, can I? Where is all that blood coming from? I can't bear to look. I've never shot someone before, well someone I care about. Oh Irvine please be ok.'  
  
He runs over to Irvine who is lying on the ground. Squall collapses to his knees discarding Lion Heart. Irvine's skin is starting to take on an unnatural hue of grey. Blood is running down from him onto the floor of the forest, leaving a deep red river of blood coming from his shoulder.  
  
'Please still be breathing Irvine, still have a pulse. Come on Irvine, don't die on me. How would I explain to everyone that while you were trying to help me I shot you and killed you? I just lot my temper. I don't know how my safety catch wasn't on, but I really didn't mean to hurt you. Where is all this blood coming from? How do I stop it? Why is this happening to me? I'm not a good magic user, I have a potion, but that isn't going to do much good if Irvine isn't conscious to take it. What do I do?'  
  
Squall removes his gloves and tosses them aside along with Lion Heart, and carefully, with hands that are trembling, he removes Irvine's trench coat from his right shoulder, which is stained red from blood from his wound. He gently moves aside the shoulder of the, what was vivid purple top, also now stained with blood. This reveals a deep bullet wound, with blood pulsing out of it. He quickly checks that Irvine has still got a pulse and that his is breathing.  
  
'Too much blood, he's loosing too much blood. I can't get back to Balamb Garden and back here in time, in time to save him. I need to think of something fast. What can I do? He isn't awake so I can't give him the potion I have and I have no cure magic. I guess this is the only thing I can do.'  
  
He rips of part of his top, leaving bloody hand prints on the rest as his hands are covered in Irvine's blood. Having ripped off a long strip he quickly binds Irvine's shoulder, trying to get the bandage tight enough to slow the blood flow but not cut of circulation to his arm.  
  
'Mustn't cut off the circulation. He needs his right arm; after all he is right handed. I don't want to prevent him from being able to use Exeter. He loves that gun so much.'  
  
Squall runs over, grabs Lion Heart, and shoves it in its sheath by his side, he grabs his gloves and shoves them in his pocket, then grabs Exeter and places that behind one of his belts two belts. He then carefully lifts Irvine from Irvine's left, making sure he doesn't damage the right arm further. He makes sure that Irvine's head is resting on his shoulder so Squall can feel that he is still breathing. Squall slowly starts to make his way back to Garden.  
  
'Come on Irvine, just hold on. I can't go any faster than this as you're heavier than Rinoa. This reminds me of carrying her, but now the important thing is that you don't die. You can't. I…I need you. You're the only one I feel I can confide in. I trust you more that anyone else. You're my best friend Irvine, so please don't die.'  
  
Irvine's skin now starts to take on a ghostly white color, making Squall push himself harder to get Irvine back to Garden as quickly as possible. Squall's breathing deepens, yet he can feel Irvine's breathing shallowing.  
  
'Come _on_ Irvine. Don't die on me. Keep breathing. Garden is in sight, just stay with me ok. You mustn't leave. It's just a few more yards. You're gonna be fine as long as you keep breathing for me.'  
  
Squall enters Garden, which is unusually quiet.  
  
'Where is everyone? I need help yet no one is around. Are you against me today Hyne? I guess I have to get Irvine to the Infirmary myself. Luckily it isn't too far. You may look tall and lean, like a sniper should be, but you certainly are heavy for such a thin looking bloke.'  
  
"Dr. … Kadowaki…" he said breathlessly. "There's… been… an… accident. Please help… Irvine."  
  
"Hyne, what happened to him?"  
  
"That's… unimportant… just… help him… please."  
  
"Fine, but I want an explanation at _some_ point. Bring him over here please."  
  
He lays Irvine gently on the clean bed, splattering it with crimson blood.  
  
'Irvine looks so pale. I did all I could, please don't take him Hyne. I didn't mean to injure him, I care about him. He can't die. Please save him Dr. Kadowaki.'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
15 minutes pass  
  
"Ok Squall, you can come in now; I think he's going to be fine. He'll be unconscious for a while yet, but the sound of a familiar voice may help or perhaps the feeling or a familiar presence. You don't have to talk, just sit if you want."  
  
Irvine is lying in the bed, stripped of his beige trench coat and purple top, both ruined by blood. There  is a large gauze bandage on his shoulder but other than that his skin in unmarked, perfect even, his slightly tanned skin regaining some of it's normal color.  
  
'Irvine, Irvine you look so pale, so lifeless, yet I can see you're breathing. How could I do this to you? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You mean a lot to us… to me.' Tears start to roll down his face. He makes no effort to remove them. 'I feel so lost without you. I didn't realise how much I like your company. Please Irvine, just wake up.' He collapses into a kneeling position beside the bed, head leaning on the bed crying silently. 'Please…'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Is that… Squall? Crying? He's upset about something, what's happened? I can't bear to hear him cry so. Can I … get up, I can't lean on my shoulder, but if I use the other arm… yes I can sit up. Now is Dr. Kadowaki there? I don't want her to see me up and about, because I don't think she'll approve. But I need to go to Squall. I need to be there, to comfort him.'  
  
She slowly shuffles into the room Irvine's in. Squall doesn't notice her enter.  
  
'Oh Hyne, what happened to Irvine? How did he get shot? Was it Squall? Did he do this? That could explain why he is so upset. He looks so weak and defenceless now that he is showing a little emotion. I want to go to him, comfort him I just hope he doesn't reject it.'  
  
She moves closer to Squall, slowly and gently she touches the back of his head, stroking his soft, brown hair. He jerks upright at the touch, face tear stained. He looks away as if he can't bear to let her see him so weak. She kneels down next to him, and ignoring the pain in her shoulder, hugs him, tightly. At fist he only tries to pull away, but eventually gives in. He places his head on her shoulder and cries freely, holding her as tightly as she is holding him.  
  
"It's ok, Squall, it's ok. Just let it out. I'm here for you. When you're ready talk to me. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for you, always."  
  
As she speaks, she strokes his silky hair, in the hope to calm him, in the hope he will let her in…  
  
'I've never seen him show such emotion. I hope he doesn't shut me out more now that I've seen him in his weakened state, showing his emotions to me. It makes me care for him more now that he has shown this side of himself. He's had it shut away for so long; I hope he doesn't clam up again…'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Why can't I stop myself crying? I never cry. I've learnt not to show emotion. It makes you weak if you do, so why can't I stop myself crying. And in front of Rinoa. I'm meant to be strong for her, someone she can depend on, not some weakling that can't stop himself from crying.'  
  
'I haven't cried in so long. I guess that's why I can't stop now. I've bottled it up for years so I don't know how to stop. I guess I need this, but did it have to be in front of Rinoa. I care so much for her; I can't let her think that I'm too weak to protect her when she need it. I care too much to let her think like that. Please Rinoa don't think I'm weak…'  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Tears continue to stream down his face, unable to stop them, he holds onto the one thing he knows right now; Rinoa. Tears start to roll down her face. Not due to the fact of the pain in her shoulder, nor for herself, but for him, because she cares so much about him. It pains her to see him so upset, but she knows right now there is nothing she can do for him except be there for him, so they continue hugging, neither wanting to break the bond, the connection.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
'Ungh wha… what happened… to me… Why does… my shoulder… hurt… so badly. Burning pain… what's with this burning pain? It's burning… all through my right shoulder…'  
  
'I don't… I don't remember what… what happened. I remember… I remember talking to Squall… in the glade in the woods… we were talking about… Rinoa. He was mad… I pushed him too far…… the safety on his gunblade… it wasn't on… he was waving his gunblade at me… did he? Did he… shoot me? Is this what it feels like? To have a bullet shot into you? Did Squall mean to … shoot me?'  
  
'Can I still move my right hand…? I need to be able to… I have to be able to use Exeter. That gun means a lot to me. It's something I can depend on, something that's always been there for me. I need to be able to move my hand. But how do I tell if it is moving? I guess I need to move my hand and open my eyes, but that's moving towards the pain, I want to keep away from it. It is harsh pain. I can't take it. But I have to know if I can move my hand.'  
  
Irvine's right hand twitches, once, twice. Rinoa notices this, and looks up to Irvine's face. His eyelids flutter, then, open fully. She smiles at him through her tear stained face then, turns her attention to Squall. And speaks softly to him.  
  
"Squall, Squall, look up, please? It's ok, Irvine's awake, he can move his hand, and I think everything will be ok. I had better get Dr. Kadowaki she probably needs to see Irvine."

  
He replies to Rinoa in a cracked voice. "Thank you Rinoa, for being here. But please don't leave me, not yet."  
  
"No problem Squall. I can stay if you want me to." And she flashes him a smile, a warm smile.  
  
Squall tries to dry his face on the back of his jacket, but the tears are still coming. Rinoa moves round to the other side of the bed and takes hold of Irvine's left hand. He turns to look at her, and smiles at her, then looks to Squall.  
  
"Irvine, Irvine I'm so sorry about what I've done. I never meant to hurt you. You know that don't you? I hadn't realised my safety catch wasn't on, I was just so annoyed. I care about you Irvine; you've always been here for me. Please don't hold this against me, it was just an accident. I would never intentionally hurt you, never."  
  
Irvine, reaches out for Squall's hand which is near his on the bed. Pain is clearly written across his face, but he perseveres and eventually manages to grip it.  
  
"Squall, I understand that you didn't mean to hurt me, but I can't deny the fact that you have. I forgive you for hurting me, I won't hold a grudge. I care about you too, and I don't like to see you hurting. Please do something for me, both of you, please talk to each other. That's the cause of this, of everything, the fact that the two of you didn't talk. Please get things sorted. That's enough of a thanks for me and everyone else. Oh and can you please send Dr. Kadowaki in, I think that some painkillers are in order. Thanks."  
  
He smiles at them both and lets go of both Rinoa's and Squall hands, and places them together with his left hand.  
  
"Now go, go talk to each other, sort everything out, for everyone's sake."  
  
They leave the room and in walks Dr. Kadowaki. Squall and Rinoa leave for her room in the Infirmary. By tilting his head ever so slightly, Irvine can see them both through the glass.  
  
'I hope they sort everything out. We don't need anymore pain in this Garden, and they both deserve each other. They both care so much for each other that they need to tell each other. To sort it out.'  
  
"So Irvine, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I've been shot."  
  
"Well, you're not wrong there."  
  
"Is there anything you can do about this pain? It is burning through my shoulder and arm."  
  
"Well it hasn't helped that you moved your arm, Irvine, but take this."  
  
"What in the name of Hyne was that? That almost hurt my throat more than my shoulder is hurting. Can't I just have a cure cast on me, that would stop the pain."  
  
"You know I don't approve of magic Irvine Kinneas, but I guess just this once I'll pretend I didn't know anything about it. Is there anyone you want to see?"  
  
"Yeah, can you get Selphie here?"  
  
"Sure, and the bandage?"  
  
"Err can you leave that for now?"  
  
"Irvine Kinneas, deceiving a young lady, I don't know."  
  
Dr. Kadowaki smiles as she leaves Irvine, but leaves the bandage. Irvine casts the cure spell on himself. His shoulder is bathed in a purple light, and the wound closes, leaving a tiny scar. He sits himself up on the bed and waits eagerly for the approach of Selphie.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile next door, Squall and Rinoa are deep in discussion.  
  
"Squall, please listen to me, don't push me away anymore. I care about you; I want to be here for you. But for me to do that I need something from you. I need to know if you care for me the same way I care for you. I love you Squall, more than anything else I love you. I just need to know if you feel the same way or not."  
  
"Rinoa, this is hard for me."  
  
"I'm not saying it won't be Squall, but I want to be here for you, always. I miss you, even if it's only a few minutes that you've been away for, I miss you. I can't bear the though of not being with you, or worse still seeing you with someone else."  
  
"I don't know if I can say this Rinoa. But I'll try."  
  
"That's all I want you to do Squall."  
  
"I … I like you… no I… I love you Rinoa Heartilly. I'm just scared. Scared that I'll get hurt by loving you."  
  
He looks away having said this, as if he is ashamed that he feels that way.  
  
"Squall, Squall look at me."  
  
She turns his head gently so that he is looking at her. He looks straight down, not into her eyes.  
  
'This isn't going to be easy is it? Ah well, here goes nothing.'  
  
"Squall, I would never intentionally hurt you. I love you too much to be able to hurt you. When you hurt it hurts me to. I care so much that it is like a physical pain that you are so cold to me. I just want some sign that you care that you love me."  
  
"Rinoa, I've said I love you, but I just don't know how to show it."  
  
"How about we start by just hugging."  
  
'I hope I've got through to him, shown him how much I do care. I love him more than I can explain, I think I've made that clear, and I now know he loves me. I just hope he can open up to me now.'  
  
Squall pauses for a minutes then slowly, he extends his arms round Rinoa. She returns the hug, holding him close to her, in the hope to convey to him how much she does care about him.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
"Selphie."  
  
"Oh my Hyne. Irvy what happened to you?"  
  
Her eyes are full of pain as she looked at his shoulder.  
  
"It's nothing Selphie. Don't worry about it. I just wanted to see you, and to tell you something. Here come and sit here." He says patting the bed next to him.  
  
"What did you want to tell me?" She asks as she sits on the bed.  
  
"I wanted to say, I… I love you Selphie Tellmit."  
  
"Oh Irvy, I love you too. I've just been waiting for you to say so." She throws her arms round him.  
  
"Ouch Selphie, be careful."  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry Irvy, does it hurt a lot?"  
  
"Yeah but never mind that. Look."  
  
He points to Squall and Rinoa hugging in the next room, using his _right_ arm!  
  
"Oh have they made up? Oh I really hope so. They look so good together."  
  
Then after a minute.  
  
"Irvine Kinneas, you're lying to me."  
  
"What? N-no I'm not."  
  
"You are, you just pointed with your right arm. It can't hurt at all; you cast a cure on yourself but just let the bandage on didn't you? So I'd give you sympathy." She rips of the bandage. "See no wound."  
  
"Ouch Selphie that really did hurt, couldn't you have been more gentle?"  
  
"Oh come here Irvy."  
  
"I love you Selphie."  
  
"I love you too Irvy."  
  
And so both couples sat hugging in the Infirmary.  
  
THE END  
  
----------------------------  
  
A/N well here is the end of my story. Tell me what you think. I tried to make Squall more open in this chapter as I felt there must be something behind the cold front, all he needed was someone to pull it out of him.


End file.
